She said she was so disoriented and didn't know what was going on.
She literally dropped on the floor crying, and begged me to stay. She's very sorry.
I'm still extremely disappointed and mad at her, and trust me, I would leave her on a heartbeat.
But at the same time, we've been together for 5 years, and I love her.
I don't know what to do. She was drunk and discombobulated. She wasn't herself when it happened, so should I maybe give her a second chance?
Most Helpful Girl
You're trying to help justify the situation where no justification is needed. What she did was horrible and while you should forgive people for your own sanity, you definitely shouldn't give her a second chance.
Relationships have boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, and she crossed all of those in a heartbeat. What was she even doing out with other men? Why was she alone with another man? Why was she out drinking with other men, and why did she get so drunk that she must blame the alcohol for her actions?
Have you even bothered to ask yourself these questions? Do you not see what she's doing? A truly sorry and repentant person takes full responsibility for their actions, she on the other hand is shifting the blame to where it's no longer her fault, she's tugging at your heart strings because she thinks you're gullible enough to believe it.
You keep bringing up the five years you were together. You don't want them to go to waste. That is just as stupid as people who stay together just because they have kids, or just because they have a good job, or just because of whatever other reason. You history shouldn't be the reason you stay and frankly she's undeserving of that second chance.
Getting drunk like that shows you have an alcohol problem, it shows you're irresponsible, and it shows you don't care about anything else in the world or anyone else around you. This girl is not worth the chance you're considering but if you choose to forgive it'll eat at you all the time. Personally I wouldn't be able to kiss her knowing she probably wrapped her lips around another man's penis, knowing someone else was inside of her when that should be something intimate and meaningful and exclusive to the both of you. Knowing some man either ejaculated inside her or on her skin you probably love so much. Knowing she completely degraded herself in the most foul, drunken and disorderly way and maybe even with a couple of people that night.
Do you seriously want to think about all that each time you see her for the sake of your past, or would you rather be with someone who has self control, is responsible, reliable, trustworthy, and would never in a million years do what she did to you?3
Most Helpful Guy
First, it does not matter if she was drunk. She was the one that decided to be intoxicated. Plus, who you are when you are intoxicated is who you truly are without boundaries.
Second, for whatever the reason someone cheats, it doesn't mean they don't love you. Its wrong regardless, but someone that doesn't love you wouldn't feel so much pain and regret from their mistake. That being said, it is your choice. Can you move past her infedility? Give a second chance if you want and see if you can get past what she did, but if you feel you can't then move on. Forgive, but move on.1