How do I get out of a depressing rut in life? Any ideas how to cure my lack of productivity?

I have lupus. im always getting fevers and flares. I was working at home doing a call center but i quit today. I thought working at home would be great but i just kept getting cursed out by customers. I tried not to internalize it but i started feeling suicidal so i quit.

I have another job though doing data entry.

my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me. and it was SUCH AN ABUSIVE relationship. I sit in silence at my desk having break downs every 30 minutes reflecting on things he has said or done to me.

I skipped work today&yesterday. There's this guy at work who likes me and confronted me for ignoring him for a month and a half. i told him how he was being really disrespectful of my relationship and inappropriate at work. he then said basically my ex was right to leave me and im not all that special after all.

my office isn't exactly professional. and i'm not going to get anybody fired.

the fact of the matter i'm hoping someone here can relate to how i feel.
I made an appointment with a Psychologist but im in the City the next appointment isn't until October 24th.

I already notified my boss's boss how im struggling with depression. and if i miss work i can give documentation to excuse my absence. but im moving October 1st. into a pretty sweet 2 bedroom apartment

i try applying for jobs but i noticed these years i dont want to read. there is an evaluation for this job and it needs me to read like boring ass 3 page reading assessments per question. i reread the first sentence like 8 times before i closed it.

i haven't finished college. i owe that tuition before i can finish. but im scared i will fail because if i can't even read an evaluation how will i fucking concentrate on anything there?

Im currently on Remeron anti depressant. it helps because before i hadn't left my bed for days. now i just can't leave my house.

i was never like this before i met my ex. now i feel like i have adapted all his demons. and he has taken all my ambition and drive.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have several of the top stressors in life... relationship failure, work, the third would be home life... and given you are moving, you may have all 3 (except it sounded like a good thing).

    Yes, I can relate to relationship depression and impact to your thinknig and focus. A relationship, a bad one will trash your brain... it is emotional stress... worse than physical stress. If it impacts your sleep, which it probably has, then your body and your brain are not healing and you are losing brain cells! do that for a while and you'll function terribly. I lost my job of 25 years after a bad relationship... partly due to the relationship.

    Counseling is a great idea. if you can't get one there, see if you can find one that will talk by phone. Mine (ohio) probably would although prefers in person. She's good. Other things, just find loving and fulfilling things... go to church and experience love from God. Love pets, get physical exercise. Eat right, and meditate and get sleep. All of that will get your brain working and then you'll be amazed how much better you function.

    Without a doubt a divorce, separation, breakup and bad relationship trash your brain. So recover before you even think about another dude... That other guy was selfish and did not have your interests in mind, he was rude and wrong to say that.

    • ty for mho! p. s check out dr mercola online for health info, one of the better sources to start addressing lupus. stress can really trash your body!

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  • You need someone to talk to
    You and Instill some worth back into you a real good freind


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