Why has my ex wife been a trainwreck in progress since divorce?

We were together 8 years, married 5. She left me. I am 30 and she is 28. She was a virgin before me. She took sex very seriously. Dated before, but never slept with anyone. And it took awhile for her to be ready for sex with me, which was perfectly fine. She was very in love with me the entire 8 years. She would always tell people how I was the best thing that ever happened to her etc. Our family's and friends always said we were the perfect couple. Anyways she left me saying she had become unhappy, which she seemed happy and fine up until the end. Even planning a vacation for us a week before she left. Still wanting sex the same amount as always right to the end. No red flags. It was a complete shock for everyone that knew us. She wouldn't try marriage counselling etc. When she left she started sleeping around a lot. She admitted it to me. Even having a friends with benift thing with a friend of ours. She told him from the beginning that she had no intention in dating him, just sleeping with. This coming from the person who said she could never sleep around or have a one night stand, that it was disgusting and she didn't know how people could do that. She slept around with multiple guys around the same time. She started drinking all the time. And she's a teacher!!! And smoking, which she never had. She bought an expensive sports car. Went on several vacations by herself. It was a complete 180. All her morals out the window. And now she is pregnant from sleeping around! She was such a level headed person.. I just want to know how someone can just completely change like that. She has literally become a completely different person. It is sad to see someone who you cared about so much, and that was so responsible, respectable, and smart go down this road. Also, when that kind of thing happens, isn't it usually the person who was left that does that? Because I didn't start sleeping around and making poor decisions. I'm still the same and didn't ever act out of character


Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like she had some underlying issues that have surfaced drastically in a very short period of time. Maybe she suffers from some kind of mental illness, I don't know. I'm not a therapist and I don't know what she's been through in the past, so I can't be the judge of that. All I know is that her behavior isn't "normal" and that it seems like she needs help.

    • I agree. Its just kind of hard to see someone you loved and care about do this to themselves, and not be able to do anything. I know she's not my problem anymore, but it just sucks watching her do this to herself. She was such an upstanding person, now her life maybe messed up forever, being pregnant from some guy that isn't gonna stick around.

    • After a divorce a lot of women sleep around and go all out. I mean I usually see it when they're getting divorced at 23, but she's not that far off

Most Helpful Guy

  • its your ex now so its not your problem.

    • I know, and I'm thankful I don't have to deal with any of that mess. Its just sad to see someone do this to themselves. I just don't understand how one can change like that and become so stupid. Her life is screwed, knocked up by some one night stand thats not gonna stick around. I'm so thankful that my life is still fine, and not running into the ground.

    • thats great man, she it an adult that means that she is responsible for her own actions. if its going bad with her, you should not feel bad because its not your responsibility. of course its sad to see a person like that, especially if that person was close to you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well just being "unhappy" isn't a reason to get divorced in the first place so I'm really sorry. Marriage is a commitment and not just a happy place with rainbows and butterflies. Sounds like she never really "lived a little" before you guys got together maybe? And now she's possible diving into what she feels like she missed out on by getting married at only 20 years old.

    • I guess, but she dated through high school and after, before meeting me. She was very conservative when it came to sex and such and never had sex with any boyfriends until me. So its not like she fully missed out. She had the chance to. But I do see what your saying. Its just so unbelievable to see her become a completely different person. And now being pregnant with some guy she just slept with, who I'm sure won't be around, it seems like she is messing up her life.

    • Being a single mom isn't the worst thing in the world. She's 28, she'll get it all figured out and be fine. Even if she was conservative when you met she could have started to feel bored and unfulfilled. Not because of you, but because she didn't date in her twenties, get to know herself, or figure out what she likes. As an adult. I know a lot of women who get married at 19 and 20 and then end up feeling incomplete like they've missed out on a lot.

  • yes personalities can change overnight and gradually, or they can just stop pretending one day.

    that's why i think it's funny when people try to bash me for caring about physical attraction citing some bs cliche like ”looks fade but personality stays the same”

  • Sounds like you were married to a woman wearing a mask; adopted a role and stuck with it thinking it was right thing to do. Then eventually could no longer hold together her fake persona, which obviously didn't fall into her paradigm of who she either thought she was or was trying to be. Came out if denial and into reality. Could be she was feeling she had to be 'perfect' and at some point gave up. So sad when people get so far gone from their real self. doesn't sound like she felt safe to come to you and tell you what was truly going on with her. Too bad. makes me wonder why not. Could have saved some pain for both of ya.

  • Troll


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