I'm crying as I type this, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of me.
My boyfriend took my virgintity, and he has always said he loves me. But I question this because he doesn't put any effort in. I spoke to him last night about how I don't feel like I'm seen as important in his life and it feels like he doesn't love me or care about our relationship. He barely speaks to me when we're not together and I don't want to initiate it because I worry he doesn't want to be bothered and when I have done before he still doesn't respond or if he does he doesn't for a long time. He also never takes me out and does nice things with me which is what I'd like to do now and then, he just said this is the way he's always been and he doesn't like going out he'd rather chill at home and play games. He said that I used to be interested in playing games with him and he liked that but now he feels like I've changed in that respect because apparently I get annoyed when he's playing them. But that's because I've been craving his attention more and more, I want him to spend time with me :( he also said he doesn't like going out because he doesn't have any money to spend on that, but he finds money to spend on games and other people when need be! But not his own girlfriend?
I don't know how to try and ask him to compromise for me, because he argues with my requests, it's not like I'm asking him to change I just want him to show me love…
I don't want to dump him, because then I won't have anyone to love me, I need someone, I will feel a lot more depressed than I do now if I broke up with him. I just don't know how to resolve these problems! Please help.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry to tell you this but... it just seems like you and your boyfriend have totally different ideas of what the relationship is supposed to be. The problem also is he is refusing to change for you and all he wants to do is play video games and not even try which is a huge red flag. I feel bad for you because I've been in your position but sometimes breaking up just has to happen, whether you like it or not. Your boyfriend isn't considerate of you, he argues with you over little requests and he clearly doesn't want to change. Now if you break up with him, there's a possibility he will crawl back to you and maybe he will change then that is good but if he doesn't then you will know why.
Another question is why are you afraid no one else will love you? That surely isn't true because you can find someone else over time.
But what I'm telling you is purely my opinion, you don't have to break up with him but I'm just recommending you to do it or else nothing may change, you may just get more miserable over time because I personally doubt he will change. Good luck though.. you can comment here if you need some advice.0
Most Helpful Girl
I know exactly how you feel because it happened before my husband and I got married. Your scenario is the exactly the same as me. Someone then ask me something.
Do you really love him or you love the idea of him?
Then I reply of course him. I love him thats why I want his attention. I crave for him. However this person told me something. Men are all different just like girls. There is no one fixed stereotypical man. Some man show love by showering you with gifts and affections, some love you just simply by loving you. Love is an intangible feeling. Its nothing that can be explained. You can't say I know he love me because he did this or that. A man can shower you with attention but won't be there to take responsibility when crisis happen or he won't jump in front of a bullet for you. Its his character. It can't be change. You can't ask a red apple to change into a green apple right? It may seem simple... its just colors afterall but yet its hard. Its not something we can comprehend. Its just their thought process.
My husband is a man with few words and affections but because of getting to know what he thinks and what he really feel. It brought us closer. Now we have a son together. Think about it... you need him to fulfill the comfort in your or do you truly love him?