My 1st Love left me for another guy and now she wants me back. Should I take her?

She was my 1st love and we were in a relation for over 5 years before she left me. We were dating since we were 16 and the closest I ever felt to someone. To me everything was perfect until we left for college. After 3.5 years of relationship I had to move to another state to continue studies. We had a 1.5 years of long distance relationship and we had everything planned for her to move in with me then out of nowhere she broke up with me. Everything was normal. Nothing was different. She stopped talking to me for 2 days and on 3rd she said she like someone else and never talked or reply any of my call, text or email. After 1yr she broke up with that guy and now she wants to get back with me. She herself did not call me. Her friend contacted me to say that she is gulity and wants to get back only if I want. I am in a relationship right now, and she is really sweet. But since I got that friends call, she is the only thing I can think about. I have mixed emotion about her which is comfusing me so much. Please HELP me... I need your advise, what should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She wasn't there for you. Don't lose something good over something that USED to be good. Obviously things have changed, and the both of you have changed. You would never be able to get back into that relationship without feeling the constant doubt that she's going to leave you again. And that doubt comes from good reasoning. College is so different from high-school, its a lot more serious now.
    You're definitely a very sweet and nice guy who's fully capable of looking for a relationship of his own. Don't go down this road again.
    There's a chance she's just crawling back after something bad happened with her previous relationship, or whatever might have happened. Either way, that's drama you definitely don't need in your life.
    Don't overthink how great things used to be. Think how great your life is now, and how to progress from there.
    Most highschool relationships don't last long distance, call it a good run and allow both of yourselves the benefit of growing up. If it really is meant to be, it will happen after time.
    Don't make rash decisions based on her guilt and remember that she didn't even have the guts to be straight forward and tell you she was ending things with you. Remember that she never gave you a good reason to end things, nor has she given you a good reason to get back.
    She's not as perfect as you are imagining. Your life is good now.
    Don't get played man.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't.

    she's probably only crawling back to you because the other guy dumped her ass. I doubt she dumped him to pursure you. Besides, she didn't even care enough to tell you herself

    It seems like you care about her more than she does about you and she knows that.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • If she left you after so many years maybe she didn't like you anymore and the other guy probably dumped her and now she's coming back to you. You should probably stay with the other girl.

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  • No. What if she decides to leave you again? Protect yourself from getting hurt twice

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  • Distance is a killer. Give it another chance. You don't want to regret it later in life because of stubbornness. Communicate she handled the break up in an immature manner and you will need time to gain her trust back.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Since I'm a really caring person and the type of guy that would always give anyone a second chance, I would say "if you really, really love her so much, then go for it if that's what your heart tells you"...

    ... but then you said that it was HER FRIEND who contacted you.

    She didn't even had the guts to say it herself.

    I've never ever been in a relationship, so I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice. But if she's doesn't even have the courage to say personally the three things you need to hear to know someone is trully regretful about something ("I'm sorry", "It won't happen again" and "What can I do to fix this?") then I'd rather think she just wants what people call a "rebound". She went with the other guy, got dumped and now she's coming back to the place she felt good in the past.

    You say you're in another relationship. First of all, does the first girl knows this? Maybe she still thinks you're single and that's why she asked this... or rather sent someone to ask that. Maybe if she finds out, she'll respect that and leave you alone.

    Also, you don't really said much about your current girl, but I would assume a best case scenario in which, even if she's "missing" some things the first girl had, at least right now she loves you. Would you think it's worth breaking the other girl's heart? And if the answer is yes, before you leave her ask yourself a final question: Don't you think you're acting like the first girl did?

    If things aren't really working out with the current girl, that's a different story. Yes, you can leave her, but can you say without a doubt that the first girl won't go away again? Like I said, she didn't even had the courage to speak to you personally, so I'm not sure she's really feeling guilty. But if you trust it won't happen again, then go for it, buddy.

    Again, I've never been in a relationship so I won't really tell you what to do. But I hope I gave you enough insight to decide either what's truly best for you, or rather what you really want to do.

    Good luck :)

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  • If the partner you are with respects you, haven't cheated on you, treats you well, I repeat do not go back to your Ex-Girlfriend.

    Let me put this plain & simple, she left you for another guy after that many years, her relationship with the other dude fizzled, who left who is unimportant here, now all of a sudden she's back to her backup plan aka YOU, till another guy picks up her interest, then you'll be left alone with nothing (again), only this time the guilt would be tenfold because she played you twice plus you left a stable relationship for her. You are gonna lose all fronts.

    Moreover if she sees you that she can crawl back into your life, she's gonna play you hardcore this time and with much less guilt this time.

    Whatever you decide it's up to you.

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  • Don't do it, the other comments already gave good reasons why.

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  • Just no!
    She went ghost on you and now, that she realized she made a "mistake" she want's you back, the one she ghosted on.

    For you, she ought to be out of your radars.
    Keep your current girl happy and make the better moves.

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  • Nooooooooooooooooo

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