Does this make me a terrible friend?

My friend who is a bit of a big girl, dated this guy Tom, who was into fitness and things like that for a bit over a year. Then he broke up with her a month ago, with one of the reasons being that she didn't make enough effort to lose weight, which he was always telling her to lose.
Am I a bad friend for not finding him a terrible person for doing that?
Also my friend is going through a very tough inferiority complex because of this breakup and I believe strongly that she should not date for a while until she feels better. How can I suggest this as she's a bit addicted to dating and chasing guys?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a friend like that too and her boyfriend broke up with her for the same reason. And I can completely understand why he broke up with her.

    She made no effort to take care of herself at all. I went on holidays with her and in one day I witnessed her eating 11 doughnuts and a 1.5L bottle of coke for breakfast. We went to a water park too and she wouldn't go on any of the slides there because she had to climb stairs to get to the top of them. I felt terrible for ages for understanding why her ex broke up with her but when someone is making zero effort to look after themselves it's understandable.

    I don't think you're a terrible person at all and I think maybe you should sit down with your friend and tell her to take some time to focus on herself before she starts dating other people again.

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    • In all honestly I am trying to tell her that but she's too addicted to dating/ Tinder. It's for her own good since she's currently a bit too weak and would end up hooking with someone and regret it.

    • sexy ladies time you guys look so young

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you are. We should all strive to be a better version of ourselves and well... EXAMPLE

    Imagine we were a couple, miss Tacos. And I'm normally built, but now I have gotten chubbier and chubbier... I think that we should be attracted to eachother for our all, and if I didn't do anything about my weight, you wouldn't be attracted to me anymore physically. And yeah that's a problem

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    • That's pretty much what I think, whether she likes it or not they were not a great fit.

  • He started dating her when she was allready big, he should not start dating people out of expectation from them to change.

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    • I completely agree with what you're saying, but I think it is more about having common interests than the weight. Plus everyone hopes their partner tries to be a better person,

    • Well, if they didn't have common interests before they got together, then it's stupid of him to think that she should acquire his interests. Yes, every one hopes, but this is trying to change who they are, it would be tottaly different thing if she gsined weight during their relationship.

    • That's the thing they didn't have much in common apart from enjoying each other's company and sex.

What Girls Said 1

  • Personally, if he dated her with her being a big girl, he should like her as she is. If he wanted someone who was fit, he should've went for that.

    I also have a friend that's addicted to dating/chasing guys and let me tell you, it is hard to convince them they don't need it. My friend feels she needs validation from a guy, and I tell her countless times that she only needs validation from herself. I think you should just tell her that she is good the way she is and doesn't need a guy to approve of her. She needs to love herself before loving someone else. Just give her your support :)

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