Why do a lot of people take marriage as a death sentence?

Maybe the person just wasn't right for you or maybe they are too clingy. How come if someone says they want a marriage to be over because he just isn't the right one for me then people feel as if they should attack you? Divorce was created for a reason no?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, there's a lot going on in that question.

    My background: I've been married for 25 years and it's the best decision I've ever made. My view of marriage agrees with and perhaps was inspired by religious beliefs, but religion is not the main thing behind my rationale, nor was it ever. Now you know my biases. (Everybody has them.)

    Divorce was created for a reason. To me, it's a last resort to end a marriage when someone or both partners went into it being selfish or having no clue what marriage really entails. The intent behind marriage is to have a partner for life; it's more than a milestone on the path of serial monogamy. To me, divorce is always a failure. Sometimes it's merely a failure of a couple to realize what they were getting themselves into. When my friends or family goes through one, a part of me is always sad, even if she was being abused or he was trying to protect their kids from a drug addled mother. (Both in my circle of friends, yes.) It doesn't mean these people don't deserve my compassion and understanding. Of course they do! It doesn't mean they shouldn't divorce. Yes, it exists for a reason. So people should never attack you. But I can't help but root for married couples because, when they are successful, they show an ideal to the world.

    I think the "death sentence" notion may come from people who see marriage differently than I do. I can understand it. Do I wish my wife was fundamentally different than she is? Yeah, sure, in some ways. And I'm no picnic either. So I get the humor in it, but to take it literally just makes me sad.

    • Thanks for MHO.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because the idea of marriage is to make a vow and commitment to stay with that person for the good and bad times. Many people just give up in a marriage and then those words that they promised on, meant absolutely nothing which defeats why got married in the first place. When you marry, you are supposed to already have made sure they are right for you. Besides, what usually drives people out of a marriage is not them suddenly realizing the other person isn't right for them or that their partner is too "clingy". That's actually very uncommon to divorce over something as minuscule as that. People divorce over serious things, like cheating or financial problems.

    Besides, wouldn't you want to know that if your partner made a promise to you he actually meant it? I'd like to see how you'd feel if someday the love of your life married you and then left you because they felt you were "too clingy". That is abnormal.

  • Marriage is work. It's hard being married even if love is there. Especially when children are added. Yea to some marriage isn't good but like I said it takes a lot of work and patience. Divorce is an answer for some but if both parties aren't willing to work at creating harmony it's not worth being in an unhappy union.


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