We dated for a year and I sensed him checking out. He wasn't making time for me anymore or making me feel like a priority. I messaged him about it and he acted like we make the most of the time we do have together but it wasn't true and I said ethat which made him really upset. He stopped talking to me for 3 days and I asked why we were fighting. He felt that no matter what he did I am never happy (was not the case and didn;t make any sense) he then said it's not working out and that was the last I heard from him. months went by without a single peep from him. He wouldn't respond to my messages, calls or anything. I asked for my items back and he never replied. Nothing. 2 months after this I see he's hanging out with his co-worker and hear they are dating. I wasn't shocked because he talked about her a few times but at the same time never saw her as a threat. I was devastated because I think he left me to be with this girl. 2 months after that I see him on tinder and decide to swipe right. He messaged me and I was super snarky at first but he told me how he made a huge mistake and how he feels really guilty about what he did to me. He has no idea what pain he put me through. I went weeks not being able to sleep or eat and when I would sleep I would cry myself to sleep, wake up after 4 hours and not be able to go to sleep again. I was in an emotionally/physically unhealthy state. Anyway, we get to talking and start remembering the good times and that we both miss each other. It was almost like I had forgotten about all those bad things because I had missed having him be a part in my life and liked having that back. He wants to go to lunch tomorrow to talk and give my items back. How do I talk to him? I don't want to make it easy for him but I'm scared and nervous that I will give him the impression it's okay to wrong me, when it is not, I want him to realize how much of a jerk he was and possibly have him want to work on it to make things work for us again. Advice?
Most Helpful Guy
People are saying don't talk and just move on and I can see why some people feel that way. However, I will say I completely get where you are coming from and envy you that you get an opportunity to talk to you ex and maybe see if you can work things out. I was with a girl who I thought was amazing and I had major feelings for her, but she just left me out of no where one day without explanation and I've been devastated ever since. Even though she really hurt me, if she contacted me and wanted to talk, I would and I'd be open to trying to work things out. I always think back to the great times I had with her and wonder why she didn't want that anymore and wonder if she ever feels she made a mistake in leaving me. So I say go talk to him and see where things go, if you two were meant to be things will work out. However, when you go to talk to him don't be all desperate and act like you need him back. I would say if you two were to get back together he would need to initiate it and admit he made a mistake, if you initiate the conversation of getting back together he will think he did nothing wrong and probably break your heart again. That is how I would personally handle the situation if it happened to me. I get the urge of wanting to be back together but if you do all the back together talk nothing will change, he needs to show he truly wants to be with you and that he's committed to being with you. If he doesn't do this then I say move on because you can find someone better and deserve someone better.3
Most Helpful Girl
Yes I do, I was in a five year relationship and here is my advice- RUN! Once you have broken apart, it is like when a mirror breaks, and you stand and try to put the pieces back together, you get cut! In general, people's behaviors don't change. I know it is nice to think about the good memories, which you should always keep with you, but also think about the pain and the emotional turmoil when he left... maybe he is just lonely right now... who knows, your life, but my advice is this life is not made for us to look back... best of luck1