"Time heals" is a bunch of crap, why does anyone believe it?

There are some things people will never get over.

Time, distance, anything... it won't change the fact that you love a certain person and no matter what the circumstance, you would take them back in a heartbeat.

What do you tell yourself when none of the typical stupid catch phrases like "time will heal", "someday you'll find someone who will make you understand why it didn't work out with anyone in the past", "it just wasn't meant to be"... don't work?

What do you tell yourself when you are absolutely, 100% heartbroken, time has done nothing, you're doing things for you, you're focusing on positive crap in your life and yet it's not working and you have this horrendous need to be with the one person who doesn't want you?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's no set time frame on when you'll start to learn to deal with the reality of your situation. I always hated when people told me to give matters of the heart time. Because even to this day I'm still torn up by her abandoning me. Get triggered at the smallest things. God forbid a t swift (her fave artist) song come on, onmy way to work an now I'm late to work cause I got to chill in the parking lot trying to dry my eyes lol.

    People that say get a hobby or go be more social have healed and don't care to share the part where they were stuck in devastation before they were able to do all those things again.
    www.herinterest.com/.../...d526926e48447f14f29.jpg

    Love hurts like hell!!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you let yourself heal, you will.

    You won't want that person back for the rest of your life. And heartbreak isn't forever. Obviously some things will always hurt... like death of a loved one. But even then you can heal.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Its not true. None of it is. If you found someone that you truly loved. Then all of those aren't true. If it ended, you'll always miss them and wish you were together. you'll want them and miss them and you'll regret them on your deathbed. I dont think there's a way around it.

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  • I do believe time heals... partly, you still gotta put effort into healing. If you keep beating yourself up for the loss of someone (or whatever is bringing you down), time can't completely heal you, you gotta fight to move on.

    I don't believe in the "it just wasn't meant to be" phrase, since that is like saying there's a destiny, which I don't believe in.
    You get what you fight for.

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  • Time itself does not heal, but it affords you the opportunity to heal. If you don't want to heal... you won't.

    The horrendous need will fade. A month, three months, six months, a year. But it will.

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    • That's what I thought but it's been a year and a half, and I'm still as heartbroken as day one. :(

    • Then it sounds like you fall under the :if you don't want to heal" category then.

      Maybe look to counseling? That's a very long time to not be over someone. Even if you were with them for several years.

  • "There are some things people will never get over."

    If they don't want to then of course they won't.

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  • Until there is a pill or something that allows you to control, manipulate and wipe or filter out bad and inwanted memories, you're going to be stuck with those unhappy bad and sad memories and experiences for a very long time if not, indefinitely for the rest of your life. That is unless you somehow get Amnesia or something, but usually that will only happen if you suffer a head injury or some other physical trauma that will cause you to forget about all the emotional pain, miseries you are having and won't go away.

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  • I like girls like you you're hot.
    This message has been endorsed by Jeb Bush

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  • It's tuff, true and heavy. Most of all , it's a choice. it doesn't sound easy but you work your way up. Time heals? yes, some times, and it never heals completely and it will always leave a mark/scar but you ned to make a choice to our self what to do with the mark, how you want to remember it.
    My i reccomend you to read an motivitional author gose by Leslie C. Brown. If you can't find e-book or a usual book! there is many of his work on youtube and the rest of the inter net.
    Stay strong, live your choice.

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  • how about. "there's plenty of fish in the sea, so find someone who loves you".

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    • Yup. There's plenty of fish, but at this point even if this perfect fish came up to me and said I love you, I wouldn't care because I only want this one fish that has broken my heart twice and I would send all the other fish who might love me away just to be with him again :(

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    • Yes I am. :(

  • It's nicer than telling people their life is shit now isn't it?

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  • time doesn't heal anything. its the mind it forgets eventuality

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  • When I am 90 and have dementia

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wonder the same thing.

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    • Is it you that he doesn't want, or a relationship?

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    • How long did you date for the first time, and why did he end it the second time?

    • We dated for eight months the first time around, then he became distant and I felt unwanted so I broke up with him. He agreed with me breaking up with him and said "you love me more than I love you." Then just a few weeks ago when I thought things were going really well, he got super distant again, even the last time I hugged him out on the boulevard by his apartment I could tell he didn't want to hug me... it was heartbreaking and then he messaged me on facebook saying he didn't want to hurt me again, so he didn't want to continue.

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