Most Helpful Guy
Most Helpful Girl
I used to think I would never want to go back to the person who had disappointed me before, until I realize:
1 No one knows how to be a perfect partner just because you are 21+ -- it's a life long learning process, we learn that from our past, from the void. It comes at a cost, called heart broken;
2 A lot of issues are caused by insufficient communication ( let's cross infidelity first), and they can be resolved. We don't express ourselves fully to let our partner know us well, because it's natural that we are afraid of being vulnerable, being mistreated -- thanks to terrible partners from the past, we are afraid they will leave us once they see the TRUE me. So we hid;
3 Grass are not usually greener elsewhere. Yes, the ex is not perfect, SO AM I. It's just at the beginning new partner hasn't get time to show us their flaws. Think about the first time meeting ex, the person is charming and attractive, then we found they aren't like that any more, simply because we know them more and see them as a human beings.
4 It's usually easy to single out all ex's faults, but we blindside our own. When I finally see me in the mirror, I see what my ex had been carrying quietly all the time, and I appreciate that, I find that's beyond polite and nice.
I'm sure you have all the reasons to let go and start over with a new person, so you don't have to go back to the wounds and scares in your previous relationship, you can learn and apply your experience with your new love. But that doesn't mean your ex does not worth a second chance. When we stay in a relationship, we tend to take our partners for granted, such that we feel a little too comfortable to make changes, keep the sparks, and keep investing. Then breakup follows.
The fundamental assumption of second chance is, both of us are willing to face the issue and work on it, be kind and show our loves toward each other. I don't promote or suggest every one deserve a second chance, I'd say, evaluate your own relationship with a clear mind, talk to calm and wise -- better in a happy and healthy relationship -- friends, then make your decision.
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