Was I completely wrong for what I did after my suspicions about him?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We've had trust issues before and just recently too because of things he's done (contacted other girls and lied to me about being communicating with one of his co-workers when i already knew the truth). I'm pretty positive that he hasn't done anything to these girls, but flirting is still wrong and he wouldn't even acknowledge me if i were to do the same thing. So I have had access to his email password for awhile now, but he didn't know that i did. I have access because he told me his password awhile ago for something and i just never forgot it. So I would log into his email account from time to time whenever I got suspicious about anything. So two months ago, he realized that i had been logging into his account and set up a 2-step verification for his email so he would be notified via phone whenever i logged in. He then asked me if I had been logging into his account and to never do that again. I know it's completely wrong and he doesn't do it to me (i've never given him a reason not to trust me), but he's lied to me like it was so easy. So i agreed not to do it again. And just last month he asked me to please trust him again and i agreed; and i told myself that if he were to lie to me again or if i found out that he was in contact with another girl again, that i would be done with the relationship. So early last week one of his female friends, who he's friends with on instagram, friended me then deleted her friend request. I've never met her before, so i didn't think anything of it, then she friended me again so I got suspicious. I happen to know mutual people that know her so I asked one my close friend to basically reach out to see if my boyfriend has been in contact with her. After i asked my friend, i just wanted to see if he set a 2-step verification for his other email address (he has 2), and he did so he was notified via phone of course.
So he came to see me that night and kept asking me why i tried to log into his account and i kept telling him that i didn't try to. I know that was a slight lie, but i just wanted to see if he also set up a 2-step verification for his non-primary email address too to see if he's really trying to cover his tracks. So I kept denying it and he finally got tired of asking me and said just walked out. I haven’t heard from him since and this was last Wednesday.
I didn’t tell him about my suspicion about his friend that kept friending me on Instagram because I didn’t have concrete proof yet so I just kept that information to myself. So this past weekend (Saturday) I got my proof. He contacted her through Instagram asking how she was doing and stuff and that they haven’t talked in awhile. I know he probably deleted that message from his Instagram account but I got the conformation from her.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Rightly or wrongly, you don't trust him at all, and he'll never be able to fix that. Even if he stops talking to other women entirely, you're never going to know that, and you're going to keep checking on him.

    The way I see it, you're either going to have to accept that he likes getting attention from other women and be cool with that, or accept that you just can't trust him to not seek that attention and end it.


What Girls Said 1

  • A relationship with this many trust issues and obvious codependency is not fun... It sounds depressing


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