So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We've had trust issues before and just recently too because of things he's done (contacted other girls and lied to me about being communicating with one of his co-workers when i already knew the truth). I'm pretty positive that he hasn't done anything to these girls, but flirting is still wrong and he wouldn't even acknowledge me if i were to do the same thing. So I have had access to his email password for awhile now, but he didn't know that i did. I have access because he told me his password awhile ago for something and i just never forgot it. So I would log into his email account from time to time whenever I got suspicious about anything. So two months ago, he realized that i had been logging into his account and set up a 2-step verification for his email so he would be notified via phone whenever i logged in. He then asked me if I had been logging into his account and to never do that again. I know it's completely wrong and he doesn't do it to me (i've never given him a reason not to trust me), but he's lied to me like it was so easy. So i agreed not to do it again. And just last month he asked me to please trust him again and i agreed; and i told myself that if he were to lie to me again or if i found out that he was in contact with another girl again, that i would be done with the relationship. So early last week one of his female friends, who he's friends with on instagram, friended me then deleted her friend request. I've never met her before, so i didn't think anything of it, then she friended me again so I got suspicious. I happen to know mutual people that know her so I asked one my close friend to basically reach out to see if my boyfriend has been in contact with her. After i asked my friend, i just wanted to see if he set a 2-step verification for his other email address (he has 2), and he did so he was notified via phone of course.
Was I completely wrong for what I did after my suspicions about him?
What Guys Said 1
Rightly or wrongly, you don't trust him at all, and he'll never be able to fix that. Even if he stops talking to other women entirely, you're never going to know that, and you're going to keep checking on him.
The way I see it, you're either going to have to accept that he likes getting attention from other women and be cool with that, or accept that you just can't trust him to not seek that attention and end it.
What Girls Said 1
A relationship with this many trust issues and obvious codependency is not fun... It sounds depressing0
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