Should I get my ex girlfriends daughter a b-gift?

My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and is now in a new relationship (he got with her just hours after getting dumped himself) I haven't spoken to her since she told me she was seeing someone else I blocked her and deleted her number. However I know this new relationship will most likely fail and she will come crawling back she always does we've been on and off for 5 years and she always ends up with players liars and cheaters and I'm sure this one is no different. She has a daughter from a marriage before I met her she was very young when I met her mother and I have been the only real father figure in her life because her real father is not interested in either of them and I have always done my best to be there for her and tried to help raise her. The girls b-day is coming up and I want to get her a gift but I do not feel welcome at her place anymore and I don't want to see her anyway and certainly don't want to run into new guy I also do not want my ex to think I'm using her daughter as a way to get to her cause I'm not that would be horrible i really do care for her daughter but I want to keep up no contact so she can start to feel what it's like to lose me, I know she's afraid of that. So my question is do I get the gift for the little girl or not, will not getting it send the message that she's losing me will getting it let her know I'm the one for her and her child, again I don't want to use her child to serve my means intentionally or accidental and that's my dilemma.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Should I get my ex girlfriends daughter a b-gift?
    If you want to get her a gift then get her a gift. However I advise you to honestly reevaluate your relationship with your ex and why you want to play daddy to a kid that's not yours with a seemingly unstable gal who flip flops between you and seemingly shitty dudes.

    • I meant b-day and the reason i want to play daddy is because I also love her and it's not her fault that her mom is doing this and I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her.

    • I got it was a b-day gift I just stated gift as I thought the context was already stated.

      Have you had any communication with the child because coming up with a gift would seem a bit random to me? Do you know exactly how involved you want to remain in this child's life and how you're going to arrange it with the mother? Showing up with a gift on her birthday may not be enough for her to think you're not abandoning her if all you can do is monetary/material goods on certain occasions.

    • That's a good point and I haven't had any contact with either of them but I know what she wants because she told me and it's not expensive at all. As far as brining involved I want to be as involved as she will let me.

What Guys Said 1

  • Just forget about her and move on. Save the money towards your future dates and future relationship instead.

    • But I've been like a father to her I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her just because her mom can't figure out what she wants.

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