How do I stop obsessing over my ex?

I don't think I love him because love and trust are definitely gone but I can't stop thinking about him nonstop. Like I keep having daydreams and constant thoughts about him especially when I see him. Like I start thinking back to all the good times and how amazing and perfect he was. I also can't stop thinking about the ex before him we had a nasty history but we spoke last week (after 1 year of saying nothing). Why am I so obsessed with these guys? How do I STOP thinking about them? Like I know they're not the best guy in the world but I constantly keep daydreaming and stuff. I want this to end once and for all. Please help me!!! I really want to focus my time and thoughts on stuff that are beneficial for my present and future like school...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I still love my ex dearly and its very difficult to get anything done at all... writing whats been left unsaid, regardless of whether shell see it or not, or making her things, manual tasks, its how I get the feelings and thoughts in check.
    there's nothing that really works 100%, but every separate thing helps a little.
    -manual tasks
    -letting your thoughts and feelings out, on paper, in artform...
    -Work if you have a job
    -friends and activities you enjoy if you can

    I tend to try short bursts of those things, to then focus on studying for a bit before my mind zones out and thinks of her. I can't stop so it really limits how long I can study at a time. But doing things helps me refocus my mind a bit...


Most Helpful Girl

  • For some reason we women want the unattainable for some reason. If he wasn't your ex, you might be thinking about someone else. I had this happen to me six months ago, I thought I was loosing my mind. Keep in the present, focus on you! Start doing something you thought you could never do. Get a new hobby, meet new people. There are so many ways to get out and do something to take your mind off of this person, and the number one thing if you truly want to stop the thinking and obsession, you have to block off all social media connections, take email away, and get them out of your phone... too much to see out there these days... best of luck


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What Guys Said 2

  • The person which can help you is the only your mirror.
    Start doing something different in life, reduce facebook isn't healthy,
    overcome the fear to live your life without him and happiness will come within the right time.

  • Why did you break up?


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm in the same boat many years later. I went a long time not thinking of him when my life was busy but for some reason lately I can't get him out of my mind. So much so I think I just saw him and his girlfriend drive by me today. I have not been working so I have time but nothing like this. It was like fresh pain all over again. I don't understand it. Clearly I still have some shit to work through. Do you ever forget your first love?

  • Only way is to be busy and fill your time. I broke with my ex three months ago nearly four cos he was all cold then jumped into a rebound and won't speak to me so given up now.

    I've done spa days and stuff cos I dunno why but when we broke up I never felt good enough so spa days and baths etc have been great for me. So many tears and hair feeling crap etc so at the end of a long week it's my fav thing to do. Stops me going out drinking which ends in tears.

    Still think about I'm a lot though especially due to the rebound, but I feel it's important to get it all out now so you can move on one day so I'm not fussed by it I think it's just the grieving process, and also proves you have a heart.


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