Does she love me? Can I move on or get her back?

I dated a girl one year ago. She always told me she wasn't yet read to commit herself because of breakup she had had at that time. But, she gave me some time to wait.

Within that months I was waiting, we always have been together, hanging out, kissing to the deepest we could, no sex. She used to tell me she misses me after like one day we meet each other. Our friends knew us. Her friends used to push her to commit herself quickly.

When I tried to push her to commit herself, she used to say:" You can love someone else. But if you do, I will know that you haven't loved me. I am afraid to regret if I let you go." I decided to wait until she will be able to take decision. We kept living as people in relationship.

One day, I started seeing that she was always happy talking to someone on the phone. When I asked her if she found someone else, she said:" No. it is just a friend. I can' date someone else when you are still around. If I have to, I will let you know before." Then I asked her again if she think that we can love each other. She responded:"Yes, it is. I love you. But I am not ready to commit myself now." After one month, then I decided to investigate. I checked in her contact and found someone she called:"Mon tresor". Meaning:"My treasure". Which confirmed already a kind of relationship going on between them. When I asked her why, she said:"I love him!". I then decided to stop, no contact. She later came to me to apologize that she didn't want to end it that way. I easily forgiven her. She finally being in relationship with that guy after a week.

Now she is saying she wasn't the cause, she will explain to me. As we are in the same workplace, she always reacts awkward when we see each other. She seems angry like breaking on the table pens, phone, papers. She is responding badly when ask something of work, and it seems like we are arguing.

Why this reactions? Does she really love me? I am having a reason to try again or I keep being away from her?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Move on, she used you until a new guy came along. Don't allow people like that to be in your life. If she truly loved you, she would be with you and not the "mon tresor" guy.

    • Thank you very much Guys. I appreciate your advice and I already started moving on even if she is trying to say:" If you want, I will explain you why I did it. It was by mistake. It was not my plan!"

What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with karennn and 10dsw and I want to add a little perspective. Remember that this is the only way to learn these things. She did say what she said. It may even have been the truth as she saw it. Although it’s a very uncomfortable situation right now, the lesson will last forever; the discomfort won’t.

    I can easily imagine a situation in a little while where another girl says a similar thing to you and you understand she has doubts about committing to YOU. Then you, having lived through the present situation, say something like “no problem honey, take your time” and, with no pressure at all, you just let it go and live your life. She may be so impressed by this that she comes to you. Indeed, maybe she is LOOKING for someone who will be strong enough to not be controlled by her.

    Every single time you find yourself confronted and trodden on, remember the next situation where you will be so much more at home because of this situation. I emphasize that you didn’t get fooled, taken advantage of, or anything like that. You just did the best you could, and so did she. It doesn’t matter what her “motives” were. What are motives after all? We all only have one motive, ever: to be happy.

    I hope this gives a bit of perspective. Best of luck.

    • Thanks for your advice. I have already started moving on. But again, what if she comes back? If it is possible, will it be love?

    • Excellent question. Do you hear your ego speaking? This is prime ego talk and I say this with affection; I have an ego as well which speaks loudly at every turn.

      Your ego wants certainty and a guarantee. It wants a rule book. But again, remember how you met? No explanation, just bliss. Here is the big secret: that bliss, who experienced it? How did it happen? YOU experienced it, in YOUR body. It happened because YOU decided, chose, and was INSPIRED to love. It was NOT the other person that did it. Therefore, the feeling is yours and nobody can take it away from you.

      Try it for yourself: sit down quietly and really remember, feel how it was when you met. She will be right there with you and you’ll be feeling love. So forget about her. She is a manifestation that came from YOUR love. Ring back the feeling and stay there, and you will attract the next manifestation, either her or someone better.

    • Thank you very much. I working hard to take off that feelings I have for her, even if it is very hard as we face each other every day, and many times on the phone when she is talking to the other guy. You know how it feels!!! I calm myself as a man and try to move on.

      I really appreciate your help. You are totally right 100%. It is really helpful.

  • Nope. From the sounds of it she's angry that you keep nagging her after she gave you clear hints that she was not into you in the least.

    You have absolutely no reason to try again. She was stringing you along the entire time.

    "She always told me she wasn't yet read to commit"

    This is a textbook string along line. She was ready to commit to anyone who she fit. She just didn't see you fit that role.

    My apologies for being blunt, but I'd rather speak the truth so you don't waste anymore time.

    • Thanks, I appreciate and I already started moving on.

    • Good job man! Hopefully you learned something new!

    • Yeah. Totally new for me, but that is how life is!!! Thanks again for your advice

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