How do I get my husband back while seperated?

I have been married for 2 and a half years. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. A few months ago my husband started staying out later and later hanging out with his friend and sometimes stayed out all night. About 2 months ago heleft for a week. He said he needed space and time to figure out what he wanted in regards to our marriage. He came home after a week and we tried to work things out. He told me that he had been using drugs for the week that he was gone but he as done with that now. Things were still not going well and he left again a little over a month ago. This time he has not come back.

About a month ago he told me that we were not meant to be together and that we should stay separated. Since then our lease expired and I have moved to new place with our children. He has been staying on his friends couch this whole time. There has been a lot of back and forth with what is going to happen with us getting back together. Sometimes he says he never wants to get back together ever again. Sometimes he says he just needs more space and wants to work on it.

The latest from him is that as long as I keep child support out of the court system and I give him a couple months of space then he is willing to try and save our marriage. I asked him if his ultimate goal is to get back together and he said yes. I asked him if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear to keep things our of court and or if he really meant it, he said he meant it.

How do I get him back? As hard as it is to leave him alone and give him space do I really just not contact him at all and hope that he decides to come back? Is there anything I can do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • The more you try, the more likely you are to fail.

    Either you trust your husband to be honest with you, or you've failed before you began.

    • So I should just leave him alone and not contact him?

    • If that's what he asked, yes.

      But be realistic, it sounds like (no matter what he says) he just wants out.

What Girls Said 1

  • Do you really want him back? To me it sounds like the drugs are a factor and there is a reason that several months ago he pulled up ship and sailed away... But if you think he is doing right, and is trying to really figure himself out, then RESPECT him, and actually walk away and leave him alone. Don't answer his calls, block him if you have to. Let him see that you will carry on and be just fine. Actually he might just miss you, and you will find him coming back, instead of you chasing him. Reverse pysch... best of luck


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