Does my ex boyfriend want to get back together with me?

My ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship of 4 yrs. So it seemed.. It was in a sense off and on because of stupid arguments we got into in the past that he had broke up with me over because well we were both immature growing up and learning from things as people do. His family would get involved after time which had caused alt of grief between us both, in which we both had worked things out between us last December 09, he had kept me hidden though because he was unsure if I changed. His family nor friends knew we were seeing one another. Then they found out and were angry, and felt why would he lie. All up from then to now, he told me he couldn't do this anymore, he just wants a normal relationship and a girlfriend that could come around his family and friends. I sat with high hopes tucked away , doing everything he asked of me. Continuously making the error of calling or writing to him via email or aim messenger. Where he would respond at times and say he gets the point but his family won't listen to him, that he tried to talk with them but they won't listen. My family is a bit different, they won't get involved ever unless if someone asked a question they show respect for myself and the other guy, they always have. They respect my decisions and hope for the best. His used to be that way, but its as though he is listening to what other people say versus making his own decisions. He even came off and told me that if he is with me , he only has me and my family, that his family will disown him... I feel that is just wrong. It caused alt of arguing between us, then to come to the other day where I walked all the way to his house to give him a few of his things back and a letter I wrote to him..may I add it was a very far walk = /, nice day out to walk though. After this long of being together I wanted to speak with him to of course hopefully work things out, I have in a sense been the only one trying and it hurts alt when you love someone that much. Well he listened and didn't know what to say at points other than he wished that none of that stupid stuff happened back when and we could be happy now.. I feel you have to learn from your mistakes, and show your changed side, which I have. His family won't accept it or listen though. He told me to try something because he doesn't know what to do anymore. I said should I call your mom, he responded I don't know just try something. So I did, and she said your holding up my line I think this is harassment and hung up the phone. I was stunned shocked and very hurt to be treated that way. He has had me blocked on aim for quite a while, where after that day he had unblocked me .. Normally as I know that means he wants to talk.. I'm thinking maybe his fam had a talk with him after that day , I'm unsure though because I'm not there.. I stayed away and had no contact for a day and a half, and well I've been sitting here confused as what do I do? Wait for him to talk to me.. or write to him. I feel I have done enough, he knows I care and love him..?


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  • This guy needs to figure out what he wants on his own without his family's interference. It sounds like his family is running his life. He needs to run his own life and make his own decisions. On the other hand, I like that he is close to his family and listens to what they tell him. Many times family and friends have the ability to see things we can't see on our own and usually want the best for us, which I am sure is what his family wants for him. But although he can listen and appreciate their opinions, the ultimate decision is his because it is his life.

    I think he either needs to stand up to them and tell them gently that he respects their opinion but wants to live his own life, or you need to move on. If he is not willing to fight for you with his family, how much will he really be willing to fight for you at all? And don't you want someone who is willing to fight for you? Someone who is that dedicated to you and 100% sure you are what they want? Of course you do. Maybe that is the problem here. You two have been through so much that he isn't really sure you are what he wants.

    Here is what I think you need to do here. I think you need to just stop trying to contact him and initiate a relationship. You have done everything you can to show him you want to be with him and are willing to change. The ball is in his court now. He must overcome his family and stand up and be a man and live his life on his own. Until he is ready to come to you and offer back to you what you are willing to offer him, you need to stop contacting him. If you are meant to be together, the separation will show that and will prove that to him. What you are doing right now isn't working, so you need to try something else.


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