Ex has left me pregnant?

We were together a couple of years, madly in love and happy (ish) until a few weeks ago. He went on a lads holiday, and ended it by text while he was over there.

He then proceeded to mess me around (wanting me, then not wanting me) for a couple of weeks.

Last week I found out i'm pregnant, I tell him, and he tells me he doesn't want me back. No support, no questions (other than if it was his).. nothing.

I just text him saying I don't know if i'm doing the right thing getting rid of it and he responds with "I don't want to get back together"... which isn't even what I asked.

I have no choice but to get rid of it, how the hell can someone be that heartless after two years?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's pretend for a moment that you broke up with him and decided, after realizing you were pregnant, that you didn't want to have a baby - and instead got an abortion. Would he have a say? Nope. Does he have a say in whether or not he has to support a child he didn't ask for nor wants. Nope. Your body/your choice does not equal forced marriage and/or support from men! You get all the say and he gets none? Preposterous!

    I laugh when I read the comments from women and men who proclaim, "Have that baby! You're a strong woman! Make him pay! He's a misogynist and doesn't deserve any women! You teach him a lesson, strong, independent GRRLLLL!"

    Utter foolishness! The hypocrisy of man-hating gynocentrists is off the charts! People really are that ignorant. The timing is impeccable! He breaks it off and you 'accidentally' and suddenly get pregnant? Like that's a rare thing? Pull my other leg and it plays 'jingle balls'! LOL!

    Society hasn't progressed at all - it simply gets more stupid, more gynocentric and more anti-male. Gynocentrism has transformed into hyper-gynocentrism - which is why men are abandoning marriage in droves - only to be forced into marriage through 'de facto relationships' and 'committed intimate relationships' - giving unwed women the same rights to alimony, asset division and child support their now divorced, formerly married female counterparts so enjoy. Cray-Cray!

    And people wonder why the world is so screwed up! It's hilarious reading some of these posts and answers. The lack of self-awareness, double standards and hypocrisy is growing like a plague! What the heck are they teaching you kids in school these days? Obviously not critical thought! You cannot have your cake and eat it, too!

    Do what you want - because it's all your choice - not his! His only emasculated, castrated choice is whatever you choose! LOL!

    • I highly doubt you deserve to laugh at her.
      I'm not being rude or anything, but that is downright horrible on your part.
      Feminist or not, I highly believe that she wouldn't just make up a fake pregnancy. And even if she did, then why would she be asking for advice like this. Wouldn't she not include the part about saying she was pregnant, and skip right to the part about them breaking up and stuff, and ask how to get him back?

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, Don't 'Get Rid of It,' this is Not what you Should do Nor Want to Do. Go see a Social Worker and Piece this All together. Even Family who may Care.
    As far as the One who you have been with 'After two years' I don't believe it is Totally Over. I think he is Scared and Grew Cold Duck feet. However, maybe when he Sees he has a Loved one on the way, he will be Around.
    However, even if he Decides to stay Away.. Make him Pay.
    A Dead Beat Dad are the Pits, and very Bad.
    Good luck and My own Blessings. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds to me like his guy friends got through to him. Oh man, lemme tell you what probably happened here.

    For whatever reason, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He spent some quality time with his guy friends and he realized this, or at least made a decision. He probably got to talking with his guy friends who probably said that they don't think you're the right girl for him or that they don't like you and why. I don't know any details of your relationship, and I'm not saying you're partially or fully at fault, or if it is just that he decided that he's not ready to settle down and live the sedentary life.

    He's had time to clear his head and think, without the influence of having you close by. Whatever the reasons for his decision, he's made it.

    Now here's the icing on the cake: You told him you're pregnant. This is like, in the playbook of girls trying to control or get back with their man. To him, it literally looks like you're trying to pretend like you're pregnant, just so he'll get back with you. I've seen girls fake a pregnancy for the attention, or because they thought that it would make a person commit to them (happened to a good friend of mine, she faked a pregnancy test to try to get him to marry her). He probably told his guy friends and they all had a huge "LOL, told you bro" moment. The timing certainly doesn't help.

    My advice? Don't have it, and move on. It sucks, but the last thing you need is to have a kid by him. I know this all sounds kinda harsh, but it's just the honest truth as far as I can tell.

  • Sounds like a grade A fucking asshole. You dodged a bullet. Imagine if this dick was the asshole of your child.

  • keep it

  • Find a nice guy and see if he will be willing to support you and the kid. Do not give him any parental rights and move on.

    • for the person that down vote me i meant her ex not the nice guy.

    • I think you're right!

What Girls Said 7

  • Don't give up your child!! Just don't!! You've already lost one love. Don't lose another. Men can be idiots, but the man you raise can be the man who'll always take care of you. Or maybe it's a girl. Either way, you should hold onto the baby. Just because the father left, doesn't mean the baby has to too. Don't you have any family that'll support you?
    I completely understand about men being heartless. I've gone through a few cases myself. One of my friends, at just eighteen was left pregnant and without someone to love her. Her only options were to get abortion and kill herself, so she did. It later turned out, that the man she accidentally got pregnant with, didn't know. And once he found out, after she died, he loved her and his unborn child so much. He killed himself too.
    Don't make any rash decisions. There will definitely be someone out there who will take care of you and your baby. And ignore men like that idiot who left you. They don't deserve us women. Raise your child the way you want, maybe you'll be alone for a while. But trust me, soon you'll find someone great to help you. There will always be a friend out there.
    I believe that if you love someone or something, then it is your friend, always. It doesn't matter if they say they're not. They are. Believe that the world is your friend, and it will be. Give love to the world, it will definitely give back. Trust me, there will be someone for you.

    Hope I helped.
    And just for a happy heart, remember:
    Love Life and Life Loves you back.

  • It's good that you see his true colors now rather than actually have and raise a baby together. Time to move in completely. When he comes to his senses, you'll be long gone.

  • If you don't want it, get rid of it.
    Weather the guy is with you or not shouldn't affect your decision.
    Now if you genuinely want to be a mom, you can sue for child support.

  • Eh, he sounds like a boob.

    Honestly, I think he just kept saying that over and over again because he didn't want you to try and use your baby to keep him around. The text you sent him sounded a little immature about not being sure if you want to keep it and it sounded manipulative, too, and I'm sure that's the vibe he got. Technically, you didn't -ask- anything, just that you weren't sure you wanted it or not.

    I say stop talking to him and do what you want. You talking to him is just dragging it out and he obviously isn't interested.

  • he's a heartless douche and has shown this by 1) not having balls enough to end it in person, and 2) his willingness to play games with you. that's not how you treat a person you love.

    as for the more-important question: to keep the baby or not.
    you do have options, but here are a few things to consider:

    -do you have a solid support system (ie family, friends, people who can help you), a job, and/or savings?

    -would you be willing to consider putting your baby up for adoption?
    (sure, it's half his, but it's also half yours~ if you absolutely can't bring yourself to love that child, i'm sure someone else will.)

    if the answer to both of these is no, then end the pregnancy. if you're unsure, or if you can safely answer yes to one or both of the above, then keep the baby.

    whichever you decide, cut ties with this idiot and (if you keep the baby) do not give him any parental rights.

    either way, good luck.

  • Sorry what has happened, but you should have kept in mind the consequences. It is always the girls who face such a bitter situation.

  • Do not "get rid of it" please is a human life, imagine him/her as a child, give the baby a chance, give it in adoption if you don't want the baby, there are many people out there that really wants a baby


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