Most Helpful Girl
She's keeping you on a hook as a back up, in case nothing better comes along. She would date you again if you grew up? What a crock.
Cut contact and move on Hun, she is terrible for your self esteem
Most Helpful Guy
Deep down you feel like you're a piece of shit, so you feel as if how she's treated you is forgivable. We accept the love we think we deserve.
You need to let go of believing that you're a piece of shit and that's all your worth. Realize that you can do better and choose to do better for yourself. I only say you have a low view of yourself, because no self respecting man accepts that treatment and craves for that girl back. You don't love her. You think you do, but you don't. Right now you feel like you need her in order to feel good. To feel complete. If you met a girl right now, who was just as pretty and made you feel the same way your ex did during the good times you would move on almost instantly. That history would mean very little and how your ex acted would be enough for you to say, "fuck no. I deserve better than that".
That starts with you realizing you deserve better yourself. Then going out and actually doing better for yourself.