We learn at the same varsity classes where we met and dated for the said 16 months so it was inevitable that after she dumped me we would keep bumping into each other although i always made sure that i tried to control these "chance meetings" both by avoiding them or by being
unsentimental if by 'chance' they did occur. That is the general background, now let me expand on the immediate situation i find myself in.

More immediate to my question, her behavior has been a bit strange in many instances i can count:

1. She texts my friend asking how i am but makes him promise not to tell me (which he does) as his allegiance is to me and not her.

2. Having not texted or spoken to her since the breakup, her sister texts me 4 months after the breakup asking me to seek her out from my class and deliver a message to her on her behalf.

3. She sort of touches me when we run into each other as in lightly touching my shoulder, chest, arms or abs when we stop to exchange greetings.

4. She awkwardly raised her hand in a lecture this one time in our sexuality class and went on about how her b. f had never and would never cheat in her when we were having a class discussion on the
cheating propensity of boys/men. This was strange because the entire class knew We had dated or thought we were still dating and by the time i realized it was her voice and she was kinda describing me, the whole lecture room was starring at me.

In general, i am the kind of person who is skeptical to getting back together after a long time apart as i feel one would have adopted new characteristics, fancies and a new attitude, especially if they hook up with other people. So, the basic premise of my question is i do not believe in break ups then make ups but should i, in this instance, re-assess my principle and go against my better judgment?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Even at my age we learn and grow all the time, so 16 months could have changed you both, so giving it another go wouldn't hurt on that reason, it could be a good reason to get together actually.

    You have to ask yourself though, what is "our better judgement?" If you are talking about your "gut" feeling that it's a bad idea... it probably is.

    Have you seen other people in this time apart?

    • Yes but never with any stability. I somewhat feel meeting other people has given me new/ tainted expectations than i initially had

    • Sounds like you still have a thing for each other, only way to know for sure is to ask (if you want more that is) , if you want closure, and she wants closure you need to talk at least, as it seems she still cares and you wondering if she cares (cause you think perhaps there may be something against your better judgement).

      Talk to her and just see where it goes.

  • that she loves you and wants you back

    • Is that always the right thing or the underlying problems will resurface yet?

    • Why did you split up, if you don't mind me asking?

    • @Pixiefairylady Soooooo silly hahah. She might as well have admitted it when she told my friend it was a rash decision on her part. One of those little seemingly innocuous arguments which come up when you have been together for so long, probably wasn't helped by that she was maybe getting bored at the time as well.

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