I feel too young to be engaged and get married, is something wrong with me?

So i've been engaged for 2 years and suddenly it all hit me. I'm not ready. I've always been a "good girl" just go to school, go to work, go to church, hang out with girlfriends every now and then. I've had one boyfriend in HS and then my fiancé now. I'm 23 and just graduated college. I'm starting to feel like maybe I haven't lived life enough. I'm still a virgin as well. He's ready to get married ASAP. I still have wonders about if he's really one one... there's just a lot I want to change about him but he's a AMAZING guy and has never done me wrong. I just keep thinking there's a person out there that's a closer fit & I won't want to change so many things about the right guy. So other girls that I talk to are like "wth you've got a good man who wants to marry you and you want to throw that all away? It's so hard for women to find a good man" So then I start thinking i should settle and be content with what I have? So yah am I weird for thinking these things.. ?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • How would you feel about being married to him if he never changed a single thing about himself? I ask because that is probably what you will get if you marry him. You can't make him change and if he wanted to change himself, he probably would have done so by now.

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    • Wow that first question really put me into deep thought! Thank you !!

Most Helpful Girl

  • ALWAYS trust your gut! You have instincts and intuition for a reason.

    You ARE young to get married.

    Don't listen to that jaded bozo that insulted you.

    Your fiance may well be a great guy, but if he is THE guy you can find a compromising solution that suites both your needs and asperations.
    If not... than you have solid proof that a marriage would never work. Now or in the future.

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    • Thank you, I thinking time will just have to tell with this situation... I don't want to make any regretful decisions. Are you married? Have you ever experienced anything similar?

    • I'm not. I coordinate events, including weddings.
      And I have seen A LOT of people get married for a lot of bad reasons.

      Whatever you eventually decide on, you do need to know... marriage doesn't change the things you mentioned you would like to change about him.

      It doesn't work that way, and don't think you'll be that magic person that changes that law of the universe.
      He will only change if he wants to.

      With that said, good luck to you my dear.

    • Could I message you and get a little more specific about the details and truly get ur opinion? Thanks so much for your response.

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What Guys Said 6

  • no there isn't something wrong with you and no you aren't weird. you feel how you feel and your feelings are justified

    don't settle. get married because you are excited and ready to get married not out of any sense of obligation or "should do" kind of thing

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    • That makes plenty of sense!

  • No that's a bad sign that shows some incompatibility you should go and find someone else in my opinion it would be different if it wasn't like that before and something big happened to make you start picking at things you would like different but if nothing like that happened then it's just not right

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    • Hmmm thank you for your opinion!

  • you are not weird for thinking these things... this type of situation could put you in a place where you might have to make the biggest decision of your life... you should really make sure that you are sure before taking vows... really... you are only 23 you still have a lot of time to settle down... good luck!

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    • Awesome opinion, thank you!

  • I think it is a good idea to think things out - It is okay to have doubts - If you are not 100% about your fiancĂ©, you have to wait until you are - Don't jump in unless you are sure.

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    • I like that.. wait until i'm 100% I think that's the best thing for me to do right now.

  • No that's just your opinion on your situation nothing weird

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  • There's always something or someone better out there. And having that kind of attitude shows that you see your fiance as nothing more than an object, to be changed and accessorized until he meets your definition of perfection- only to be discarded as soon as you get bored of him and want a newer, different model instead. There's something wrong with you- it's called consumerism. And it's perfectly normal among young females nowadays- what girl would wants to have a lasting relationship with a real man, when she can have dozens of better looking fuckboys and STILL have a lasting relationship with that man once she's in her mid-thirties and 'ready to settle for him'? And what man would want to be anything other than a fuckboy with those prevailing attitudes dominating female society? After all, fuckboys are the only guys who DON'T get screwed over. Your guy, he isn't a fuckboy. And that's why you want to walk away, leave him without a second though- because you see it as 'settling, and being content with what I have" for you to NOT go around riding the cock carousel of players and fuckboys.

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    • wow, someone here is jaded.

    • Show All
    • @EpicureanHaven And again, nothing more than feeble playground level attempts at personal insults. Wish I could say that it was funny, but it's not any more. Now, it's just sad. Play the victim card all you want, sob and scream and rant and toss your toddler tantrums. I don't care any more- I've got better things to do than waste time humoring you.

    • oh... I think you're fibbing. If any of that last comment were true you wouldn't have even bothered to write it.

      Face it, you're addicted to trolling.

What Girls Said 2

  • i'm 30 and i still feel too young to be engaged and/or married lol.

    I CANNOT EVEN ADULT.

    some doubt is normal. but if you're thinking about it constantly, perhaps you should discuss your concerns with a therapist.

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    • Hahaha :) a relationship therapist has actually crossed my mind, thank you!

  • Divorce him, travel around the world like me. Go around and study. It will be fulfilling I promise.

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