Did you ever lose yourself in a relationship?

I feel like a lost myself in my recent relationship. I was so caught up in my now ex girlfriend, that I started having a hard time recognizing myself. I stopped doing the things I liked and got too comfortable spending all my free time with her.

We broke up a few months ago, got back together, and broke up again. She's already seeing another guy who she was texting while we were seeing each other again. Everyone I know says I'm better off without her because of how she was and what she had done. At this point, I'm just mad that she used me and is seeing this other guy. I'm starting to take off the rose colored glasses and see how bad she was for me throughout our 1+ year relationship.

I'm still having a hard time getting over the fact that she downgraded to some random guy she had only known for a couple months. During our relationship, she was extremely clingy and told me she wanted to get married and that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. Now, she's seeing him and she seems like a different person who isn't even phased by our break up. I just feel like I let this relationship tear me down and bring me to a low point in my life, where I have to work towards getting my old self back, all the while she is distracting herself with a new guy.

I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this sense of losing oneself in a relationship and had to deal with picking themselves back, while their ex started seeing someone else right away. Also, did your experience help you set yourself up for a much better and healthier relationship after the collapse of your bad relationship?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This happens to a lot of people. Some people get into relationships with the goal of making that person their priority in life. I think that's a good thing, but the problem often lays in that they become the ONLY priority and that's not good. If your only priory is to make that person happy, then every decision you make is going to be affected for this person, and that in and of itself is what changes you. Because your decisions and choices in life forms who you are. The solution now is to realize that you always have to make decisions based on what your goals, dreams, and desires are. In a relationship it's always good to consider your partner's opinion, but ultimately you should have the final say in what your direction should be. That's how you maintain your identity.


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What Guys Said 3

  • This is very common. Yes I've experienced this very early when I was young. Learned to move on quickly and to let go knowing I had a new second better chance at a new relationship awaiting me ahead. Sure enough , I found my self more mature and more established and quite ready for another chance. Finding balance is the key. A bad relationship points out to your weak spots. Although once learned , stay around your smart spots instead. Find balance between the two and go for it strongly.

  • more found myself

  • I've never been in a relationship, but I did lose myself to 2 girls I was used as a rebound to. The fact that I had a lot in common with them made it worse. Made me question who I am, my approach, and many others things.


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