I was the dumper.. my POV. Did I do the right thing?

I feel guilty for hurting him, I feel a tad regretful, I miss him and his family, I feel lonely..
Are these reasons to get back into a relationship? Probably not. Truth is I tried a long time to fix the problems we had.
I am a free spirit and he was a bit of a angry/paranoid guy... I grew up knowing to love and trust your partner. He had fears and trust issues.
I did not want it to end. In fact I saw myself marrying him at one point. But the cursing, short temper etc. got too much for me to handle. Truth is I tried so hard. But I was not meant to be his therapist. I began to develop issues of my own from taking all of this on.
I don't think he really understood the depth of the issues even though he would say otherwise. Because for a long time he refused to go to therapy until I reached the point of just not feeling in love & losing respect for him.
I guess I just stood up for how I knew I had to be treated even though I cared deeply for him too..
So did I do the right thing? Because it feels hard to cope already.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You did the right thing, yes. At least you were smart and did it before marriage, unlike me.

  • Sometimes a break up can be a wake-up call for someone. If they fully realize what they did to cause the break-up and are actively working at improving themselves, then I would take that as a good sign that they learned something. If they are aware of their bad qualities and want to fix them, then that shows some growth.

    I think you did the right thing at the time. If you feel like you do want to try again with him, I would take time to see if he has really committed himself to fixing his issues. You can ease back into it with him if you want to only if you see the positive changes he's putting forth. Like I said, sometimes a break-up can be a major wake-up call for someone.


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