We fell in love last year. We have life experience, both wanted a serious, commited relationship. We were enough confident to talk mariage for the following year. But the more we progressed with the relationship, the more we started fighting over stupid things. Him distracted, not listening/paying attention when I talked. Being very intense, having mood swings. He was always late, procrastinated, made socialy weird comments in front of people. Had poor health hygiene. I am patient, easy going, sweet according my loved ones. I became sad, angry, felt disrespected even if I knew deep down he really loved me. I couldn't put my finger on it, something was making us miserable. We fought more than ever. First, he was nice, apologized when necessary. But the more time passed by, the more he became ressentful. My frustration grew up. Within 6 months, we were fighting every week. Our beautiful love became so sad. He accused me of being impatient. To him, our problems were due to my 'anger issues'. I was the one who didn't know how to talk, which tone of voice use. The relationship was amazing... when we didn't fight. One evening, we had dinner with a couple of his friends. While the guys were busy, his friend's girlfriend told me how happy they were he found a great girl, since he is not easy, especially that he used to be under medication. In choc, I pretended I knew. I felt so bad, I didn't told him until last week. Turns out, he has ADHD but never told me. Even if it highly affect a relationship. Even if it meant lying to me and holding me responsable for it all. He is mad his friend told me, say ADHD is an invention and dosent exist. I am relieved: it wasen't just me. Now I know there was a reason to our fights. Now he said he is drained after our last argument, 5 days ago. He needs a break. I am exhausted, feel betrayed. He dosent want to talk, reply text or calls. I guess I just have to let this die.
Most Helpful Guy
His friends may have told you he has ADHD, but are they confusing that condition with bi-polar disorder? What you describe of your BF's behavior points more toward that.
It takes an incredible volume of patience to deal with someone who has bi-polar. Incredible! My step daughter had that problem. They are emotionally draining, consider themselves only in any situation, and have a difficult time in social situations.
From what you wrote, a long term relationship was not likely to work well, if at all. If they have meds, AND actually take them, people with these issues seem to do OK. The problem is they take the meds, start feeling OK, then stop, thinking they don't need them any more. OR... the meds make them "feel" disconnected, and un-feeling of nearly every emotion, so they stop taking the meds.0
Most Helpful Girl
adhd does not cause the sorts of anger issues you are describing; it is a learning disability, not a mood disorder.
that said, in the past, learning abilities have been linked to mood disorders like depression and bipolar, so it's possible there is something else going on.
still, nothing about this relationship sounds healthy. i'd say you dodged an entire magazine of bullets.0