Being friends after a break up?

My boyfriend and I who were in a relationship for 2 years broke up 4 weeks ago because I am leaving for university next and we aren't going to do long distance. He was very keen on LDR but after speaking to his parents he just changed his mind. He was very affectionate, ridiculously caring and loving and all and always mentioned seeing a future with me so it was a little shocking for me.

Both of us were very keen on being friends and he said we should do only a week of NC. Neither of us called in 2 weeks but he came to meet me when i was with my girlfriends. He behaved overly normal and when I asked about how he deals with it he just said he doesn't think about it. He is very good with hiding feelings. It was weird how normal he seemed.

called him 2 days after that to share some new about univeristy applications, he said he would call back but never did. He called 6 days later to invite me for lunch on his bday with 2 more of my friends and 2 of his. He apologised then for not calling back with a very lame excuse.

Last night I was going through a rough time with my parents divorce so I called to talk to him. I apologised for still dumping my shit on him and he said that even though we are over it doesn't mean he can't be there for me as a friend. It was late so I said I'd call him the next morning and share the issue. However, I have been feeling like he really doesn't care about me at all and I just changed my mind about calling and dropped a text saying everything is okay thanks anyways.

I just feel like he is a very different person, the way he behaves so normal and everything and over friendly with my friends suddenly when we meet. I am painting a bad picture of him in my mind and I have a lot of anger within me. I dont know what to think about his behaviour. I just feel very hurt and feel like he is over it because he behaves all practical about our split completely ignoring all emotions.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Being friends with an ex is messy, troublesome and a conflict of interest for your or his future relationships. I don't understand why people insist on being friends with everyone! Don't you already have enough friends? Your future boyfriend and his future girlfriend are not going to like you two still hanging out with each other. You use to have a intimate connection that can could easily be rekindled.

    • It's because we were best friends as well and apart from the romance I do like the person he is as a friend too. I wouldn't want to lose such a person as everything.

    • Ok, I can respect that, but here is the next caution. Most SO do not like their bf/gf being best friends with someone of the opposite sex. Same reasons.

    • Yeah but, we just broke up so I'm guessing that problem would arise much later. Plus I don't know why when we met he mentioned how he isn't going to get into another relationship until he gets his degree which is another 2 years because he wants to focus on himself.. He even told me not to like hook up or anything

  • no. thats ridiculous. i have friends. i just move on to the next bitch. i dont need your company nor do i want to be your potential sidekick... .

    • Wait what is ridiculous, being friends with an ex? And dude, what we had was serious it wasn't a fling. We were together for 2 years and even met each other's parents

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    • yeah. are you in the same city or far away?

    • We are going to be in the same city until next August when i leave for university.

What Girls Said 1

  • "If two past lovers can remain friends, either they were never in love or they still are"

    • We were definitely in love and, sometimes I feel like I can't do this but I dont wanna lose him totally. Even once when I said I dont know if I can be your friend he got a little sad and said please try.

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    • He makes it very clear our circumstances dont allow that and that we have no choice and he is right. When I told him we can break up just before i leave he told me I can't wait till then because I won't be able to let you go.

    • but even you act like friends you will both feel different

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