What should I do?

Last summer I met a woman who enjoys the same activity I do. We frequently hung out because of this and I really enjoyed the time we spent together. She apparently did too and frequently pestered me into dating her. Now I like any other guy wouldn’t turn down a girls advances that has blond hair and big fake boobs but this girl was allot older than me. After the 6th time of being pestered about it I told her flat out that I was going through a divorce, lost my job and might be loosing my house to stop her advances. This didn’t work. She informed me of all these great guys she dated and how nice they all were and she dumped them because it wasn’t the right time. So right there I knew if I did get involved with this woman not to put my heart into it. We soon dated and I held stead fast into not letting my emotions get involved. I lost my job and she started my own business with her contacts in her neighborhood. Every few weeks she informed me of her ex. He was fat and she got him to loose weight and dumped him or how he's dating a nice girl and on and on. So at the 6 month mark she gets another breast augmentation and I take care of her and that’s when it happened. I started to fall in love. A few months later she tells me that the ex just up and stops by to get his stuff. She says they had a great talk and that’s when her and I started to go down hill. Communication started to stretch from a minute to hours. One day I got fed up and drove to her house unannounced like the ex did but the door wasn’t open to me. She texted me telling me she wasn’t going to open the door and I was being pushy and we needed space. I of course didn’t give her much and texted or emailed every few days for about 2 weeks. I started noticing a car sitting outside my house at night a few times and when I would look it would rush into the night. I got the tag and gave it to a cop friend of mine. It came back as her ex. I looked at his FB page and it showed the 2 of them were dating. This brings up my question. This summer I have to see her or at least be at the same place as her and this guy. 1. How do I play it if I would like her help or at least some of her contacts for my business? 2. I have to be at the same place as her this summer because I can't get my 2,500 back from my deposit. How do I play it to show her I would like to some how remain friends so when this guy gets dumped her and I can go back to be what I wanted from the start?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Ok- this stinks right? You really tried not to get attached, and now look what happened! It looks like you and her had several attachments, physical attraction, business, similiar interests. This lady has issues, and she needs to work them out and it is great that you see that and are giving her space. My guess is that she ALREADY knows that you still want to be with her, and want to continue your connection with her. It seems you will have to work with her to some extent because of your money investment.

    So, don't contact her at all. Let this play out with her ex. If she finds out that it doesn't work with him she will be back to you in no time. The ex thing maybe a serious issue that you should be concerned about. This needs to be cleared up before you can "be there" for her.

    I also believe that she has allowed several connections with you because she wants to have the possibility of future connections with you.

    If she doesn't eventually contact you for personal reasons, she will for business reasons. I had a similiar situation, and I believe some people do this on purpose.

    You will look better when you give her the space she needs, and a little more.

    • Yes I have started to give her the space she needs. The bad part is she asked for space from the start and for about 2-3 weeks I continued to text or email her. She said if I wouldn't have done that she would have been back already. She informs me that she is going to hang out with her ex because they are such good friends. That's when I give her the space she needs and then some. Then a week later they are dating again. So total time from a not quite break up to her dating is about a month.

    • Unfortunately, sometimes it takes months for people to change their minds about things, maybe even years. I have had both happen in my life. Ok so you messed up by not listening to her in the beginning, but now you know better not only with her, but with others. As they say, live and learn.

  • Tough one, take a date where ever you will run into them. It's a safe bet. The new boyfriend won't be as threatened and the girl will get jealous. Win win.

    • Hopefully I can find someone...I only have a few weeks to go..You really think this is the only way to go?

    • It'll work, where are you from?

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