Ex wife Remarried and kept my last name... am I crazy thinking something isn't right here?

Am I crazy thinking something is wrong with her doing this? We divorced 3 years ago. We have one adult child together (daughter is 21yo). Ex-wife works as a house cleaner so keeping my last name after the divorce has zero to do with her career. I have two theory's but both seem wrong or silly to me..

1. She simply prefers my surname over the new and obviously ethnic one of her current husband. I believe this is most likely as she was an extremely vain person during our entire relationship. She simply doesn't like the sound of her new husbands surname combined with hers.

2. Less likely is that she is trying to hang on to the past for some reason I could never possibly understand.. she had an affair and it was an ugly divorce but we were teenage sweethearts and lasted almost 25 years

i keep wondering what her new husband thinks of her not taking his surname. He absolutely hates me for reasons I won't go into. So it has to bother him somehow.. I know it would me.. thoughts?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You get like 1 free name change. So it doesn't surprise me she didn't want to go through the hassle of changing it again.

    Literally don't pay attention to it. It means nothing. It means your ex is a frugal lady who gives zero fucks about societal expectations.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my experience, most women would change their name back to their maiden name. My ex kept my last name until she remarried, then took his name.

    It may just be a matter of convenience to keep your last name - no change in drivers license, Social Security card, and any other official ID that needs to be changed. Some of those things cost to get changed. She may not have the coin to do that. Just trying to play devils advocate here. Otherwise, I have no idea why she wouldn't take her new husbands name.

    • Possibly... although I'm positive it's not a financial issue as they are far from broke... could absolutely be that she just views it as a hassle to do all the paperwork...

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What Girls Said 2

  • Could be more business related...

    • Possibly, she's not really known by her personal name to her customers though... justvout of curiousity, what would be a reason a woman wouldn't change her surname that would relate to her career?

    • Show All
    • Lol... no.. not at all... that's chapter of my life is over and done.. just curious about her motivation. As a man I will never have this issue. That being said my family name is extremely important to me and the rest of my family. just odd that someone would view it as just a name.

    • I feel the need to add that I'm not angry about it at all.. just not something I would never do and trying to understand the thought behind it... sadly it's starting to seem like it's just a issue of convenience... all good either way..

  • Probably just used to that last name

    • You really think it could be that simple? If I were her new husband I would at least be curious why she wouldn't take my name... lol

    • Well by the sounds she probably kicked off about it. And he puts up with her

What Guys Said 2

  • Some (and not just women) do some crazy idiotic things when they break up.
    i personally believe she did this just to get inside your brain and make you go "argh, this bitch shouldn't have my name if she is married to someone else now".

    There is this "celebrity" in England called cheryl. A wannabe singer. She was married (third marriage?) to a guy with a rather cool name (an italian). Don't remember the name.
    They broke up. After a while he wanted to open restaurant named after his last name... big surprise: this cheryl copyrighted his name. Yup, he does not have the right to use his own name to open any business that might get him money with that name.

    how low huh?

    • Ugh.. that would suck... to be honest it doesn't really "bother" me that much... I haven't even discussed it with her just in case she is simply trying to get under my skin... don't want to give her the satisfaction... lol... honestly I'm more curious about why her new husband doesn't mind.. I know I would unless my new wife had young children or a career based reason... mind boggling.. lol

  • Your first reason or guess may be why but other than that I don't know but almost seems like what Martha Stewart did since she has been divorced for a very long time but keeps her ex last name for business reasons and it sounds better

    • I'm leaning that way... he has a Jewish surname and I truly believe she simply doesn't like the way it sounds... it seems petty, and she's obviously not anti-semitic, but she is extremely vain...

    • Yeah yours is probably easier to say or sounds better than his

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