Why do some people have problems with exes? Manipulation not like... crazy stalkers, thats out of anyones control. Why keep the emotional connection?

Splithead
I never understood how people get caught up with their exes and allow themselves to be manipulated by them. Once a girl becomes my ex, it's like she's a strsnger. Like before we ever dated, it's not hard to do. I feel like people that have these problems continue to talk to their exes in that same open manor they did before they broke up. They use the same inside jokes and nicknames and they remember past events in purpose just to have shut to talk about. Or they keep up on what their exes are doing. Sometimes I guess it's less avoidable than others but some people actively do it. Why? Why let it ever feel the same? Why would you keep that door open like that if you don't expect them to come in and make themselves at home again?
Why do some people have problems with exes? Manipulation not like... crazy stalkers, thats out of anyones control. Why keep the emotional connection?
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