Does the no contact rule actually work in getting back your ex?

My ex broke up with me after a fight, leaving behind an otherwise good relationship. its only been 10 days since we split and the way he dumped me was cold but obviously done in the heat of the moment. But he has refused to talk to me. i admit i went a bit overboard with callinh and texting him. i was mad and hurt. still am. i did the texting for the 1st 4 days. now 6 days into the no contact rule. its so hard. But does it work when trying to get him back? i want to at least talk about what happened at least for closure. because im baffled by this. we had a great weekend with our kids (not kids together ) and he seemed happy until the stupid fight. and then told me how much he loved me etc... will this time apart work to get us back on track?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Works as a guy if you stop reaching out to the girl for sure. They are used to chasing. If a girl isn't reaching out or responding, it's the end and we get the hint. So it doesn't work when a girl ghosts you...

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    • Why not?

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    • Yes it is. Obviously what you thought was minor wasn't to him. What was it? I'm 43 and hate it when older people do this, but it's all too common these days... people have no r spect or courage

    • I wrote the fight down under another commenter

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maturity has nothing to do with age.
    What's the fight about?

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    • Earlier in the summer i asked about us moving in together and he said he wasn't ready. He makes a lot more than i do and he's worried he'll end up supporting me and my daughter as well as himself and his son. I make enough to get my own place and support myself and child. We agreed that id move close by and revisit it later. So i still haven't been able to move because its hard to save for a deposit and im not one to ask for help. So im frustrated with where im living (rentimg a room) and i just said to him i wish you were ready for us to live together. And he didn't like that at all. He says he wants to see me in my own place where he xan visit etc before we move in. He was mad when i told him it was about the deposit and he offered to pay for it. He said i didn't trust him enough to ask... i told him its because thats not why im with him. We talkedit out though and it seemed fine and then i got the dreaded text 5 hours after i left his house sayinghe'spissed.

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    • No i believe he did this out of anger. He was always telling mehow great we were together up until that day he was. This was not planned. He literally had just introduced me to extended family that visited from out of state the weekend before, doesthat sound like a guy planning to dump i dont think so. And anyway im not waiting around for him or anything, im going to work on me and maybe even go out when im ready but im open to him reconnecting. Thats all

    • At the end of the day no one here can tell you if your relationship will work out in the end but the important thing is to not get your hopes up and make excuses as to why he broke up with your or blame his emotional state at the time-He broke up with you because he wanted to do. Sorry if that hurts. Focus on yourself and don't contact him. If you have the urge to then contact a friend, you can even message me if you like x

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Just no contact does not do it. They might miss you, but that doesn't mean you'll get back together. It does affect their emotions towards you tho. And that helps

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    • I agree. "No Contact" is just a way to punish your lover but it only works if they actually are in love with you. Otherwise you just hurt yourself... like holding on to the handle of a hot frying pan.

    • @Banjo25

      I wouldn't call it punishment. If you broke up, then you're not denying them anything really. Because you owe nothing to them and you plan to contact them later anyways. Or maybe the person is just hurting and can't deal with talking to their ex right away, without some time first.

  • Hey what's up! Give him some space to figure shit out. Psychologically speaking providing no contact after a break can create a greater sense of need as they will not be able to tell you about that cool thing that happened or something they did. It may make you want each other more. To be honest I don't understand why most couples fight. Literally if you think smartly about certain situations the whole thing can be avoided in the first place. Anyway he'll most likely contact you soon if he loves ya he'll be dying to talk to you he probably just doesn't want to admit it! Time and patience heals all wounds. Hope I kinda helped lol. Peace ✌🏼️

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  • It CAN, but that's not really the point of NC.

    NC is about getting over them more than anything else.

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  • If you have waited a total of 10 days of no contact and you really want him back then show up to his house in person or to his job. And if it doesn't go well... at least you tried your best and then at that point you can consider the relationship dead and buried.

    I think the guy is a jerk for not at least wanting to "talk about" the relationship and get closure. Just that alone tells me he is not a good guy. I think every break up deserves an explanation. Otherwise how can we grow and learn from our dating mistakes if the other person won't tell us what we did to displease them? Or what we failed to do?

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  • I like no contact rule after a break up, it helps me forget about her.

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  • Contact rule... tf is that. ?

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  • Sometimes.

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  • No it does not. I have never ever had contact with exes.. I simply move on to someone new.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Whether you will get him back or not does it matter if it works? What will you do? Continue to call and text him and beg him to take you back?

    When my ex broke up with me and I decided not to contact him, he text me after two weeks. That doesn't mean that he wants to get back with me.

    At the end of the day it might help but what will help most is focusing on yourself.

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  • Never think of no contact as a way to get an ex back because the truth is, they won't come back unless they want to and you can't control that. No contact is for you to heal... thats it.

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  • Give him space. You stay silent and do not contact him. The space and silence will make him reconsider what happened in a clear headed manner. Each time you jump in and contact him in any fashion, you're closing in on the gap and that repulsed a man.

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  • It depends on the person. My ex best friend really wanted to go out with me but I didn't feel that way. Finally he sent me a long email about how he never wanted to see me again etc. It hurt a lot, and I didn't contact him anymore. A year later, he texted saying if I would be willing to be friends again haha. 10 days is quite some time to ignore someone so close, but just look at my own experience. You never know. If you really do feel you went overboard, just message him an apology. I'm sure if my ex best friend did that much sooner, that I'd have been totally cool with it, as opposed to now, when it's just too late.

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  • I would not think so, once broken then it's over. Distance only makes the heart fonder if you are still in love with each other

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  • It might bring him back to you.

    But the same reason why you broke up might come back again. Most successful couples don't break.

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  • It worked for me, but then he got back into old habits. Don't waste your time.

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  • Ugh just move on. Enough with this game shit

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  • I wouldn't count on it. I dumped my ex... he went silent and after several months of zero contact i couldn't get him out of my head. I eventually went back and worked on getting us back together and im glad that he went silent because it gave us the space we needed to be able to get back together. But i wouldn't say that it made me more likely to get back with him.

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  • For me it didn't work, he called me after some time but he didn't want a relationship, he was just calling to see if we can be friends. As @Afrochick said don't waste your time, no matter how hard it is, but you'd be glad you moved on.

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