Is it bad to send your EX a letter?

So I've had a lot on my mind since my boyfriend broke up with me. He told me he didn't have time for a relationship! And that I needed someone who would give me all the time I deserved. I really didn't say much When it happened because I was in shock that he broke up with me. So would it be weird if I sent a letter to him to see how he's doing or tell him what I'm feeling?
  • Go ahead and send the letter
    Vote A
  • No DO NOT SEND the letter...(why not?)
    Vote B
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I guess not necessarily a letter... a text message or a message on social media!
I guess I just miss having that someone to talk to all the time. He was always messaging me. Asking me how I was doing. Telling me how much he cared about me. And then it was like the next day he was like "I don't have time for you anymore".🙁☹️️😟😢 and I'm not someone to go and get a rebound! He said he was looking for something serious and I was too. Then it just ended. 😢

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Please just forget him. He couldn't make time for you and ditched you. So please don't waste more time on him or wondering how he's doing, screw him.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Yeah! Forgetting about him is easier said then done lol! And that's the reason I haven't sent anything yet. Because he couldn't find the time for me and I don't want him knowing I'm still thinking of him. I wish I could just move on and forget about him! Thank you:)

    • Aww I'm sorry, I didn't mean it harshly :) It took me one whole year to forget my jerk of an ex, and I cried a lot too. In the end, the sadness will slowly turn into bitterness and instead of missing him you'll slowly feel anger. Which is a good thing lol, you'll move on and you'll find someone that'll make you feel like heaven. I was 22 myself when I went through that bs, and I couldn't have ever imagined I'd meet someone so lovely by now. Don't contact him, don't spend any more of your energy on him, you'll only make it more painful. The easiest way to forget someone is to not reach out to them, and soon the distance and time will make feelings blurry. When my ex messaged me over a year later apologizing and asking to be friends, that's when I knew he had realized his mistake. Too late.

    • Oh no worries. I didn't take it to sound harsh. 😊 Thank you for the encouragement!

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What Guys Said 6

  • You seem like a sweet girl (from reading your replies), so I will share with you what I learned. A letter screams "Hey, you're still on my mind and I haven't moved on yet." Even with that, writing something like a letter to pour out your thoughts is actually therapeutic... for me. Don't send the letter looking for reconciliation or some kind of amicable response. Just send it, and thrust yourself into moving on!

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    • Thank you! Yeah! I feel like I need some closer. And that's what's been keeping me from sending it. Because I don't want him to know I'm still thinking of him. Because he hurt me really bad. I don't think I've ever felt that kind of pain before. Thanks for the advice:)

    • You and me both. I miss her everyday, and I threw away the letter I wrote for her. I sat there and thought, "Would this really change anything?" Probably not, so I decided it best to just focus on me. That's what you should do, too. I know you deserve the love you are looking for, so make yourself someone who can get it!

    • ^ Excellent advice. Your ex-boyfriend is not worth your time. He didn't appreciate you then, and he won't suddenly appreciate you now. I would scrap that letter, the closure is knowing he was a jackass.

  • First write down everything you ever want to say to him, or want him to know. Take a little bit of time and see how you feel. If you still want to send it, send it. If it helps you get closure, even if he ignores you, that'll be good

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    • Thank you! I thought I was doing better... I was... until one of my friends started asking me about him... then it brought back a lot of memories! :/ it's sucks. He was the first guy I really actually liked. and he made me believe he wanted this to go somewhere...:(

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    • @miamigirl1970 this is true thank you! I guess I'm just missing having that someone to talk to all the time. He was always messaging me. But, I guess I just have to find a way to move on. Thank you! :)

    • That can happen sometimes it's actually a withdrawal process when your thoughts come around to him keep yourself very busy

  • NO... You're fucking up. Stop all communication and stop being pathetic. Get on with your life without him. It's over permanently and completely and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it

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  • It's a bad idea, but one we all probably make at some point... Sometimes more than once because we are idiots with hearts...

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  • Just send it. It'll clear your head. If he doesn't respond back, then you can move on to better people.

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    • Yeah! I keep going back and forth on if I should send it or not. I just don't want to say too much! But, there's so much I wanna say to him! lol

  • nope no need

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What Girls Said 4

  • Write it but don't send it. I have a whole journal I use for letters to the guy I fell in love with. It really helps getting it out on paper. I mean it still hurts, but knowing you can write about it makes me feel better. I've tried texting him and he ignored me and it just made me more hurt so I don't recommend that

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    • Great answer

    • Yeah! This is a great answer... and something I've done SEVERAL times. And it makes me feel kinda better... but, it still makes me wanna send it. Not necessarily to see how he's doing kinda just a goodbye letter. That I want to send him...

  • No point. He doesn't need to know how you feel about it, it's already over and he's moving on. Telling him what you feel won't really achieve anything.

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  • I wouldn't say it's bad or not... depends on what kind of situation it is. But if you're going to send the letter, you have to get yourself prepared by not receiving any replies from him, but still stay strong and move on afterwards. If you can't, I suggest you don't do it. I don't know the both of you, but if he doesn't have the intention of remaining friends with you, then don't ask him how has he been. But if he does or dk, maybe you can send the letter. Decision lies with you. Sending it or not won't have a large impact on your life.

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    • update: if he messages AGAIN, PLEASE don't reply anymore. You are not his toy: whenever he wants you he comes to you, when he doesn't need you he just throws you aside. Have some self respect. Save no time for a jerk like him.

    • I don't care if someone misses having someone to talk to. If he just chucks me aside when he doesn't need me and come back again for attention, I'll ask him to fk off and don't waste my time.

  • Just forget about him, not worth your time

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    • Haha! Yeah! That's easier said then done! lol I wish I could just forget about him. But, I keep thinking about what we "had"

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