Two days ago I broke up with my girlfriend of six months. We were best friends for 4 years before, and she liked me deeply for those 4 years - but I didn't feel the same way. In April we got into a relationship, and the first few months were perfect. Things quickly started dying down on about the fourth month - frequent arguments, mainly based on the fact she always had something bad to say.
We broke up on Thursday, and I saw her on Friday and Saturday, as friends, although we did kiss and got quite close - I guess we're just adjusting.
When we broke up on Thursday, she said it was "to repair our friendship first and then try again." she told all her friends and family that she doesn't want a relationship with any other person, but wants to try again with me when she does want a relationship. Last night on the phone she mentioned she wants us to move on - and "do things" with other people, though she still doesn't want a relationship at all.
I won't stop trying to have that perfect relationship we both had, I love this girl very much - first love, and we honestly expected it to last "forever".
Do you think I should just do me and keep just friends with her, waiting for her to hopefully come back - or keep chasing her, showing her what she's missing (somehow)?
Thanks, your response is really appreciated.
Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't keep chasing her, and can the friendship really repair when you still have feelings and urges towards her? Usually some distance is needed the go back to being friends.
Saying no to a relationship with you but wanting to try again later, and then saying she wants to "do things" with other people is trying to have have her cake, purchase more cakes and eat all of those while keeping your cake in the cupboard at home until she feels like your flavour. If she really cared for you she wouldn't ask you to wait while she has her fun1
Most Helpful Guy
Ok, I know this is heart breaking, but if she genuinely wanted to be with you and you only, you'd both still be together. She also said she is interested in seeing other people, this is strike - 2. What is happening is, right now she knows you are a great guy, but she also knows there are lots of other great, and different, guys out there that she wants to experience. She isn't ready to settle down already in life. She wants to have some variety. Don't listen to her when she said she doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now. In about a month or so this will all change once she does meet some other guy that peaks her interest. She will date other guys. So the question is, what do you do? Short answer, you forget her and move on. Why? Because you will sit around for months, then years waiting for her only to watch her date one dick head after another and never give you the time of day except "friendly" hugs once in a while. She will keep saying things like, "maybe one day, but not ready yet..." This is all bullshit. All she is doing is putting you in a bottle and storing you on a shelf, never to be used. This way she never feels guilty about flat out telling you "NO" so she can continue seeing everyone else. She takes comfort in knowing that you are always there in case nothing else works out, she could always run back to you. But this means you are only her "back up" or "last resort". Don't fall for that because you'll just be the last guy on a long list. During this time, you think you have a chance and you sit around like a lost puppy, but in reality what happens is, you waste 3 years of your life and possibly missing out on someone else who is even better than she is. Again, to summarize, forget her and move on.2