I asked my friends for advice and they have told me his behavior is generally abusive and that any abuse is my fault because I enable his behavior. I love him and understand he has some mental issues (PTSD and depression), but he's never intentionally harmed me.
Most Helpful Guy
You know him. You understand him. Your friends do not see him the way you do. Make your decisions on your own but don't completely ignore what others say. Consider them.1
Most Helpful Girl
Hi, i have PTSD, and for most that comes hand in hand with depression. I was diagnosed after some severe situations throughout my childhood, teen years and early adulthood.
This is no an excuse to be abuse. I won't lie, it's very easy to be. Short temper, always on the defence, sometimes emotionally checked out of life, these are a terrible combination. I would also say, legally, it's also a valid reason for some violent crimes to a certain extent, because I've been charged with things myself but the psychological report always talked about ptsd and why I was like that, and I've seen it numerous times with others.
So I know, and doctors know, and judges know, that it can really change a person who was once nice into somebody horrible.
But it's no excuse.
If i had, or any other ptsd suffer had, continued the abusive or violent behavior, it would be jail time because it's only acceptable to a certain extent.
I know of so many people who have been dumped because of their ptsd. One man had years fighting in war, and his wife dumped him because she couldn't take the night terrors and angry outbursts or weeks of severe depression always coming on.
And no, by enabling him, you aren't helping him. It can in fact make things worse because he'll not be learning how to live normally and try to learn to regulate his emotions.
While it's a thing that never goes away for most, it's something that you can learn to try and get some sort of control over some of the symptoms.
He has a responsibility to go and get help. He has a responsibility to go and learn to deal. You have a responsibility to not enable him. Ptsd can be a dangerous thing sometimes. He needs to get help before it ever is dangerous. Or help himself. There is literally nothing you can do for him. He needs to do it.
Personally, I would say, for younger people, just like anything, sometimes their behaviour can be excused, because they're still learning how to do this whole life thing, but by your age, he should be slowly starting to have more self awareness and see what he's doing to others and trying to stop that. Not all bad behavior can be excused by having ptsd.. Sometimes, an abuser is just an abuser, and somebody who has ptsd can be one.1