Have you ever broken up during a heated fight and regretted it?

Me and my boyfriend had our first serious fight over something ridiculous. It all got blown out of proportion. I said I was done with him then he said maybe we are best of not together. I really wish it hadn't happened. I realise how much I love him and want to be together.

All I want to do is talk to him but I don't think he will listen. Have you ever done something like this and how did you fix it?
  • Give him time to get over the fight and see will he reach out to you
    Vote A
  • Give it a week then call him to talk
    Vote B
  • Just leave it and what will be will be
    Vote C
  • Other
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • We didn't fix it. I thought I was holding her back since she had her stuff together and I didn't so I argued with her intentionally to get her to breakup with me because, I couldn't bare to breakup with her. But not long after we brokeup she still wanted to be with me again but I didn't want to until I improved myself to show her I'm worth her time. You can't really change their mind but time heals all wounds. I don't hold grudges against people and I certainly don't lead anyone on. You could always try to talk to him but it might not work and all you can really do from there is just not worry about him.

    • My girlfriend just recently broke up with me to fix issues of hers surrounding commitment, communication and affection. What do you recommend? I asked this as a question yesterday, if you don't mind, I would love your opinion.

    • @edbow99 I'd recommend something along the lines of being there for her as a friend for now. Let her know that she can talk to you if she needs to vent or just talk about anything on her mind. If she knows you're there for her I bet it would make her feel a lot happier since now she will think you didn't just leave after you guys brokeup showing that you're committed to her.

    • Okay, this is great - thanks, I really appreciate your advice.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think a fight or disagreement happens, it is how you handle it that matters. If you truly care instead of saying I am done with you, you can say I am done with this fight. We have to be careful with our words because then we either regret them or we have to make sure they are the 100% truth and what we want. It is complicated because if that is what you really wanted at the time, that might mean you really should not be together, if it is what you said because you just wanted to explain you are upset about the fight and didn't really mean that you should not be together, you have to explain yourself better now and next time. When two people are committed to each other, they have to have a way to work through agreements without throwing the "let's end it card" unless they have truly decided they want to end it in which case a calm serious talk is needed. If you both just said it to see what the other person says or because you felt you couldn't say what you really meant, try to work on saying what you really mean and working through things without the "let's end it" phrase. That is if you both really want to be together.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Not during a 'heated argument', no.

    When I was in high school, I got word that the girl I was seeing at the time was going to break things off because 'I never let her see her friends'. I still have no idea what that was about, since I saw her outside of school about 6 times in a month, and she was with her friends all the time. When I confronted her, she stammered something about "Well you don't like my friends", to which I replied "I've never even thought about stopping you from hanging out with them, but you and I both know that isn't what this is about. So go ahead, spend as much time as you want with your friends, I'm done with you".

    How did that work out? Because *I* dumped *HER*, rather than the other way around, she had her violent criminal cousin try to jump me after school one day. Which didn't get the result she hoped for. So she just accused me of raping her. The only thing I could possibly regret is that I didn't just give her the satisfaction of dumping me, thereby avoiding the false accusation. BUT, at the same time, I learned a valuable lesson about women right there, so it's not a total loss, and I don't regret it.

    During the final days of my marriage, when my now-ex wife was actually home for a few days (doing laundry and sleeping) instead of off partying with her druggie friends, I was pissed about the fact that she'd been gone about 80% of the last few months and that she hadn't even asked if I'd had any plans for her birthday, she just took off to go party with her friends. Her repeated absence got brought up, and when she asked if I even wanted to be married anymore, I instantly said "No".

    And I do NOT regret it. My life is full of stupidfuck mistakes, but that (divorcing her) is one of the smartest things I've ever done.

  • I would say this if he means that much to you give it a week and call if he doesn't. Someone has to break the ice and its just as scary for him as it is you. If your want something go for it. This misconception that the man is going to be tough and call you in a week if he "really cares" is bs. Look as us guys we hide our feelings in the best relationships during the best of of times. Do you really think during the worst of times we are going to be better about saying how we really feel? I can not count the guys I know who sit at home at night alone saying I should of called her back but I thought she hated me. Hell I am one of those guys.


What Girls Said 3

  • Yep. I broke up with my boyfriend about a year ago like this. After a few months being apart, I tried to move on but couldn't. I tried reaching out to him but he would not respond. I finally got to talk to him over the summer and we only recently got back together. I made a big mistake and i regret it constantly, i wish i'd never done it, but we did get back together.

    • I actually had to write him a letter because he wouldn't respond to anything i did. We finally talked one day and we kicked things around for a month or so and then we agreed to get back together. It's been good, but we lived together before, now we live apart but at least we are together as a couple.

  • Im in the same situation.. got into a fight a cupple days ago. Been living together for 2yrs. But he loves me and would tell me everyday... he is a bit childish, would attempt to cheat and would love attention.. if he leaves he want me to chase him kinds thing. Well we broke up an he immediately got on dating chat apps for one night stands. Now i miss him and dont no how to reach out... just dont want to look like a fool

  • Goal in fights: Don't break up when you're heated no matter how upset you get. I've almost said it a few times, I bite my tongue, because the moment I say "maybe this isn't working out" everything escalates.

    If you already broke up in a fight, admit this was wrong (if you want to be with them) and that these decisions shouldn't be made when It's like being drunk, but you're emotionally drunk-- you don't both see clearly.

    But it should be active in your mind not to bring it up, and if the other person does, don't fight fire with fire. Make sure they know you love the (if you do) and wait until the argument is over and then decide if it's worth staying with this person.


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