So two days ago my boyfriend came to my house and he sat down and told me he wanted to break up because he just feels like he doesn't love me as much as he should and that I should be enough but I am not.
Now I am not going to pretend I acted mature about it because honestly I turned to shit and sobbed for a good half an hour in his chest and have spent the last two days a wreck.
Here is the issue. He became very clingy and loving the days before the break up. Before he broke up with my he was cuddling me and hugging me like he never has before. Then the most important part he was completely sobbing heartbroken.
I know losing someone is hard and will make you sad but I have seen him cry only once and that was over the death of a family member and they were silent tears.
When he realised his dad was there to pick him up he clung to me and told me he will miss me and I need to message him all the time and I have to be his friend. (Despite me telling him he will not want to be friends and it will be too difficult for both of us to do that)
I am confused those mixed messages meant the next morning he was sobbing down the phone again saying how I am his best friend and he can't stop doubting his decision and he missed me the moment he walked out the door and he couldn't bare to update his social media or hurt me anymore.
I suggest a break instead of a break up and he didn't like that idea either.
In the end we decided to leave the situation in a kind of no mans land, but I focused this time on him and said he needs to sort the doubt out in his mind so that this doesn't cause him any future pain. He told me to message him as much as I want but I told him he has to message me first as this is his time apart. Yet nothing since yesterday.
I am hurting, what I want advice on is, is this normal behaviour? I know not to get my hopes up but do you think he does actually love me and maybe just hit a bad place emotionally?
- Normal and don't expect him to change his mind
- Not normal, MAY be a chance he will change his mind
Most Helpful Guy
Here is what you are going to do next time you talk.
You are going to tell him there is no scenario in which you are around him without being able to kiss him or do the things a couple normally do therefore you can't be just friends with him, pour your heart out and then tell him that you won't accept just friendship, andto whenever he changes his mind to contact you again, then walk away and do not text him ever unless he does, when he does assume he wants to meet up or something, if it leads to anything play busy and walk away.
The strongest negotiating position is to walk away and mean it, dont settle for just friendship with him, thats not what you want, dont do what he wants... pretty sure after seeing you walking away he will make his mind.
Im the guy with the crazy ex by the way.
Search for corey wayne and read his stuff. He is really good. You will appreaciate it! Good luck