Is there a way I can get her back?

I dated this girl for a three weeks (we're both in mid 20s), things went really fast, chemistry was great, etc. spent the night at her place several times, had sex etc. it was all really intense and we met often. then suddenly she started saying she's too busy and couldn't meet me for 10 days or so (she works 8 hours a day, and doesn't have any time-consuming hobbies, etc.) plus she was kind of cold when I semi-randomly met her and followed her home during that 10 day period.

I decided to call her up and said that I liked her, and wondered if I was wasting my time. told her I'm not into games and if what she meant was to send me hint I would appreciate if she was honest. she told me she'll call when her schedule clears.

after those 10 days were over I asked her whether she wanted to go to a concert and she replied the same way, ie no time.

this weekend I met her at a bar, and we talked for a bit - I was looking for a closure. I interpreted what she said as follows: starting out she didn't think much - just wanted to have a good time. then she realized that she liked me and at the initial pace it would have to get too serious too fast and she pulled away. confronting her with the change of pace certainly didn't help. and I guess she decided better safe than sorry, since the timing isn't perfect.

In the mean time she's been talking to our mutual friends about how great she thinks I am and that we were having a good time dating.

THE QUESTION: She basically sees me as a threat to her freedom and the good life she's leading the way things have developed. How do I change her mind and start meeting her again casually?


PS don't do the, if you meet someone right you can always make it work-routine. my belief is that it only applies if the guy is someone you truly will only meet once in a lifetime, such as a pro athlete, celebrity, etc. otherwise timing is of great importance. a beautiful girl will always be able to meet a regular great guy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you should start with not being so available to her. Everyone digs a little mystery and chase. Start with that. No games, just don't come running to her every beckoned call.

    If she's still cold, then she's probably not that into you.

    You seem like a really nice guy, sensitive guy. Be strong. Do you. If she calls, great. If not, move on.

    • I agree with justsmile,im going through the same thing with a guy,i stop contacting him then he comes running,but to be honest I'm sick of these games now and I have deleted his number,im just waiting for him to call and then I'm going to tell him to jog on lol,theres someone decent out there for you love so find the one who will respect u,good luck x

    • I deleted her from Facebook but still let my profile be visible to her. there were no hard feelings so she might think I've moved on and sort of surprised by how fast I let go of her.

    • Good move "question asker" :P

      you're in the process of moving on. this is a good thing.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I Hear you out. That sounds like she wanted to see what you could do and if she liked it. it shows me that she thought you were good at dating and you were a great guy but I don't think she likes what you have to give her, Like what you have told me. Has she told you that you are great in bed or that you are a great kisser or anything when you were done doing it? It seems like she has fallen for someone that she adores and like what he has to give her. I have been that way b4 so I would know what's going on. Has she called you since you put out this post? Do you work or go to school or anything like that other than sitting home? When you go to the store and she's with you dose she ask for anything if so what do you say? Or have you asked her if she wanted anything or needed anything? How many times have she said she loved you?

    • Appreciate you taking the time, but I find this comment unclear and inconsistent. she hasn't told mee she loves me - seriously, we've dated for three weeks.

    • Your welcome, how i this not unclear? she is obviously using you for something. Because the way you put that makes it sound like she's using you.

What Guys Said 3

  • dude. you want to be with a girl that wants to be with you. she wants to experience a little life. you want something serious. relationships are 90% timing (to begin with and I'm pulling that number out of my ass). let her come to you. but if she goes out and f***s other guys its not worth your time and energy.

  • My answer is kinda callous. But.. A girl like that will only cause you misery. If she doesn't warm up then she's just the sort to keep you as a stand-by...

    Don't get into a female that won't get into you.

  • no. only one chance


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