How do you let go of someone who was never really yours?

for the past 5 months or so I was cheating on my boyfriend with this guy who was also dating someone... when I started hooking up with him I thought we might have really had a chance to try things out, because we got along really well and have a lot in common... but when I realized I was wasting my time with him I told him we couldn't hang out anymore because what we were doing wasn't fair. but now I just can't stop thinking about him when I know that I need to because it is the right thing to do... I just feel really sad, and kind of used, and its like it's so easy for him to forget about me... how can I do the same? I was just wondering if there might be some ways to get him out of my thoughts, permanently...? How can you let go of someone who was technically never really yours...?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Um... Well, that is sorta tough one. I have been in a similar situation, and I can understand where you are coming from, it is very hard to just forget him even though he wasn't technically yours. You need to worry more about what is best for you. It is not healthy for you to follow a guy that can not be yours. Keep in mind that you are not only hurting yourself by being with and thinking about him, you are also hurting your boyfriend and him and his girlfriend. Honestly, you did the right thing with letting him go, because it is the right thing and you can do better than going out with someone who will never appreciate you for who you are and is just using you.

    I hope this helps and you figure out what to do.

    Good luck!

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What Guys Said 4

  • First step is dumping your boyfriend that you abused. You really don't deserve him. Next is learning from your mistakes. The boy you were cheating with was looking for no strings attached sex on the side to spice things up. He had no emotional investment. The second you realize you put emotions into someone that will not reciprocate them is the time that you should stop putting the emotion in. I have been told that it takes half the time the relationship was to get over it. That is a true statement. With time they start to fade and what was once shared between the two slowly becomes yours once again.

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    • It was his karma acctually, he cheated on me after taking my virginity, and hid it from me for over a month... my boyfriend knows about the mistake, its a confusing situation and I'm not asking you if I'm in the wrong, I know I am, I know cheating is never acceptable and I wouldn't make the mistake again. thanks though...?

    • You only focused on my first few sentences, and I apologize if it sounded like an attack. I didn't know the full story.

      But the last half is still relevant.

    • Aww I meant to write that to the kid above me who called me a scumbag... you're answer was acctually helpful, I know after what I did I don't really diserve him but he still wants meee... and I wanna be better to him, hence why I was asking ways to get over this guy.

  • Wow, I've been in the same situation as the guy in your story, except I wasn't dating anyone at the time. Needless to say, things got complicated, a lot of friends of her boyfriend were really mean etc. etc..

    This was about 2 years ago and that person is still on my mind. I've been in 3 relationships since then but it's hard not thinking about her.

    From my experience, the only way to make things right with yourself is apologise to your boyfriend, and see where things go with the other person.

    Alternatively

    If you really do want to be with your current boyfriend, more so than the other guy, start building a platonic friendship with the other guy.

    I can't really tell you how to erase the pain you've felt because we both know that you deserve it.

    I hope this helped.

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  • and I mean no offense to this but how about not being a scumbag in the first place...if your not going to be faithful then why the f*** are you dating someone...it still stumps me to this day..if your not going to be faithful don't have a gf/bf, plain and simple...dont be a scumbag...your boyfriend deserves way better then you...karma will hit you one day...

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    • It was his karma acctually, he cheated on me after taking my virginity, and hid it from me for over a month... my boyfriend knows about the mistake, its a confusing situation and I'm not asking you if I'm in the wrong, I know I am, I know cheating is never acceptable and I wouldn't make the mistake again. thanks though...?

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    • Oookaaay? well sh*t happens and who are you to judge? this is an advice website not a "lets read what people write and make them feel worse than they already do" website. Thanks again though.

    • Just saying..i said I mean no offense, wasn't trying to be an asshole...and if you don't want people to judge you...give them the whole story instead of half of it eh? sorry I just hate cheaters

  • Not a lot you can do about it move on find someone else of keep doing your boyfriend and think of him. Takes time to get oversomeone, at least you had 5 months...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Have you ever thought about maybe you were meant... No Offense but if you really was diggin your boyfriend then you never would have cheated in the first place... My advice to you is still hang out with him.. see where it goes... it's not like you have a ring!;-)

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    • Yesss, I know I just don't want to hurt anyone anymoree, I know this guy is no good for me and I wanna get over him. I just don't know howww, I've never been in this kind of situation before... like he's only the second guy I've ever been withhh.

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