Do you think my ex of 2 years was emotionally abusive/manipulative?

He broke up with me over the course of a month, ignoring me for days, texting me he couldn't be with me anymore, then telling me he never wanted to break up, then broke up got back together, then ended at again. I told him how upset and hurt I was and he just got angry at me and told me I was crying at him.

When I would tell him something that bothered me in the relationship (wanting to go out more on dates, wanting more affection, wanting him to stop talking about other girls) he wouldn't listen, would go off tangent. He'd get sad and say how he was such a terrible person and how he'd been bullied so that I would end up apologising to him. It would never get resolved, Told me how he was making such big changes for me. Made me feel unreasonable.

I think he should have asked me if I was happy with what he'd done not just tell me it was resolved now. I got very resentful of him and a bit rude back. Told me I never trusted him to do anything. I just wanted him to do it off his own back not have me guide him the whole time. Felt like he didn't care that much.

He's got a severe health condition but I had to make him and beg and plead him to go to the doctors: then he'd tell me how well he was doing. He used to sulk when I made small suggestions or tried to talk to him about it. I broke down and cried for an hour about it.

He dramatically stomped on something cheap to break it and stormed out the room. He's hurt my neck on boxing day when I sneaked a peek at his cards when we were playing with his family. We had a huge argument about that but still I always felt like I was the one making arguments - but I had a right to be upset. He's angrily thrown things in the bin when I told him they weren't safe. Then denied he was cross.

He made me forgive him for everything whilst we were on this break at the end and told me all the bad things i'd done.

Do you think he;'s emotionally abusive? Or just nasty?

Thanks for reading and to anyone who replies x

help me please haha


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What Guys Said 2

  • Why were you stupid enough to keep taking him back? Never try and reconcile. This is over completely and permanently and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Stop wondering why and get on with your life without him

    • I only actually took him back once, right at the end of the relationship. because he kept telling me he'd never wanted the relationship to end and I was in shock. he'd ended it with me dramatically on the phone the night before and made me think it was my fault. the next day he wanted to be with me. I had thought it was in the heat of an argument and him just throwing toys out the pram. I was very confused because he kept telling me one thing and then the other. I know its over im just getting my anger out because I realise how much of a tosser he was. I dunno we might be friends once day seems a shame not to after two years

    • Not going to happen. Sorry

    • well it might not. i'm not holding on to hope with that. he'd have to massively apologise for me to give him time of day to be friends but i'm not expecting that because if he didn't give me what I wanted in the relationship, he's not gonna start now. would be good to be at least friendly for when we inevitably bump into each other though

  • I wouldn't classify it as abuse... I wouldnjust say you guys were 1000% not compatible.

    • ok thanks for replying

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