It's been a year since my breakup, I'm torn because I want to move on... Anyone free to message what helped them? (both guy and girls)?

It's been a year since our breakup. I don't think I got proper closure because it just turned messy towards the end. I suspected he was cheating on me by talking to this one girl (my guy friend's ex). I saw a message on fb but never clicked on it. And then we would get into fights where i wouldn't talk to him at all. Feel distant. Broke up. And my guy friend told me that the girl would text him about homework but it was a seduction. A month later he and his friends were hanging out with girl/ and her friends. 3 months later he decided to text me wishing me a Happy Valentine's day and it was very sweet. Then found out from guy friend that he told girls that he had sex with me. We didn't... Got pissed at him and he says i would accuse him of lying and he denied it. I told him i wanted nothing to do with him, didn't want him as afriend or wanted to get back together with me. FUnny thing is he would always ask about after breakup to my friend. Whether i regretted it etc and followed me on social media despite me unfollowing him. Until i took him off my list. After i told him what i told him on March 2016. He decided to date a girl who was obsessed with him and had a crush on him/ he claimed he didn't like. Within 1st month they have sex and he makes sure my friend tells me... THERE"S MORE BUT WHY BORE YOU... FAST FORWARD NOW: He's been with her for 7 months and I am questioning everything and am still hurt. I WANT TO MOVE ON BUT I don't know...


Valentines Day

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's hard to say. I think what you need to do is unfollow him on all social media, then stop thinking about relationships. Hang out with your girlfriends and meet new people. Being stuck in the same friend group as an ex will totally mess you up. New people and interesting conversations are the best medicine

    • I have unfollowed him on media. But sometimes part of me gets urge to check up on him and his girlfriend. Their profiles are on private, but you see the post count. But i decided to block him on fb. The thing is that his girlfriend seems to do everything i do. I post something she does too. I have a new friend group. I am just hurt that i am still stuck while he is in another relationship. It makes me question whether he truly did love me or just wanted sex. Everyone tells me he's using her for sex and all, but i don't know anymore. As i told someone. Part of me feels like he still loves me. Its unexplainable but i tell myself he doesn't.

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    • Message me if you need any more advice

    • Thanks! I will

  • First of all, stop asking about him, and ask your friends not to bring up his name in conversations. Break off with his really close fiends, for example the one telling you about hm and the new girlfriend.

    Go to places where you won't see him or his friends.

    Find some new interest-- a new hobby, a new language-- something that takes up your free time so you won't be thinking about past events... maybe a role in any play?

    Just to begin with, try to go 24 hours without speaking his name, even to yourself!

    • I actually no longer talk about him to any friends nor do they bring him up. Only time they did is when he befriended a friend of mine after i blocked him...

      Other than that, i have been very active at life. Going to the gym with friends and outing. But it is in those spare moments that i think of him. When i go to bed... he haunts my dreams , along with his new girlfriend... And in a way i can't get away from them because everyone on social media has her as a mutual friend. So under likers she is there. But thank goodness their profiles are private.

      I just don't know why i can't move on. Is it denial, or haven't had proper closure.

    • Before going to sleep, read or study or do push ups, anything that REALLY tires you out so that you are asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow!

    • Good tip! I think i will do this

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to believe, but I know somewhat of what you're feeling. People can be dicks sometimes.

    What helped me was distracting myself with other people, whether it be some new guys or your friends. I know you may not feel like dating, but even having someone show that they want you will feel amazing. Especially since it's been a year. I also had school work and music to get into, so that's another thing I did as well to somewhat cope with it. And having my cat helped, if you like pets.

    I wish I could help you feel better but I hope my suggestions help a little.

    • Thank you for your suggestion! I actually go out with friends more than i did before I was in a relationship. In a way my life has improved. I have gone on a few dates, but i haven't felt attracted to the guys. I think what hurts more is knowing my ex is dating someone else... Like part of me wishes he would realize his lost and realize that sex isn't everything. Part of me feels like he still loves me. I feel it but then i need to tell myself that he doesn't...

    • Honestly you probably know this, but he doesn't deserve you. Anyone who will leave you over not having sex with them is someone you don't want in your life.

    • I know, but sometimes it's hard to feel it because you wonder... Like he's probably treating girl who gave it easily better. Like why is it that way? That is what hurts me

Valentines Day