First breakup: How to let it go?

Anonymous
11 months have passed, I'm still lost and hurt. I don’t know what to do to get better once and for all. After 11 months of a non-committed relationship he ghosted, reappeared when I acknowledged it was over and let him know my feelings for him and how I felt when he left. Said he's broken, he’s a veteran, so I think it’s true. I think he didn’t expect he would hurt me this way and feels guilty. He sent a hi! message 1 month after and said stuff happened.
He's with a white blond, brilliant, wealthy girl and seems VERY OK. They are the perfect image of a white American and his European fiancée. I feel more trashy than shit. I couldn’t avoid comparing with her. I feel used and unworthy to be with someone like him. He told me I am smart but my opinion wasn't needed.
He is a white veteran studying in the capital with his rich friends even though is NOT. I'm French, brown skin, shy who's trying to work in fashion living in the suburb with my family. His life wasn't easy too cause he had behavior issues when his dad died before enrolling in the army. He was in the battlefield and went to college. The reason I admire him so much.
I wrote him twice after we split cause I wanted to know why, he replied but left when I mention his stuff. Last time I asked him straight cause I was tired. Said he can’t give me what I want, that he’s broken and to leave him in peace. I replied I’ll be fine but I thought I could finally ask him.
I was a virgin so it's my 1st breakup. I fell quickly I was trapped. He’s my hero. I know he respect because I'm determined to do the job I want and to put my shit together. I saw his failures, that's why it confuses me. I’m thankful I met him, I d like him to keep the respect he has for me and not remember me as a needy virgin. HOW TO LET IT GO?

First breakup: How to let it go?
2
1
Add Opinion