Hi everyone! I'm writing here because I really need help figuring out what to do in my situation. She wants space. Go get my stuff from her house? No?

My girlfriend and I met about a year and a half ago. She was married. We all became friends and hung out a lot. Last November we all were drinking and we ended up kissing. From that night on we started talking secretly through social media, not actually texting. It really started to get serious and she decided to file for divorce. They've separated multiple times and share a daughter together. He moved out and she stayed. That was in march. We were dating but not out in the open because she wanted to wait until the divorce was final so she wouldn't get taken back to court. We fell in love with each other. Her daughter loves me but looked at me as the neighbor because of the reasons. I always had this feeling that she wasn't going to fully commit and it scared me all the time. It's now November and her divorce is almost finalized but not yet. I sold my house and moved in with my sister so we could save money to buy our house. I moved my tv and cable so her and her daughter would have tv, because her ex took everything when he left but it's still his house and pays him rent to live there. I noticed a bit of separation starting to happen and then she said she needs space to find herself and grieve over her marriage not working out and all of that. She said that once she puts everything behind her because she's Christian and committed adultry she feels terrible and guilty which I understand. I'm completely devastated by this separation and I'm in a deep depression. Do I just go get my tv and disconnect the cable or leave it there until she calls? because right now it's a no contact thing going and it's been over a week. Please help
That's what I'm thinking is go get my stuff but that will be rough. It's like I'm holding on to the unknown and don't want to let her go. That's why I'm in between disconnecting the cable and getting my stuff. If I do that then there's a huge chance that she'll go back or whatever. It's hard for me to just accept this. I'm devastated
Should I go get my things or leave them there until she calls?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This whole scenario is so wrong in so many ways, but it's done. You have both made so very many mistakes, and they have consequences.
    You need to give her the space she is requesting for herself, but start getting some parenting orders in place for your daughter. Don't let these adult games impact the right she has to a father, as it could take some time for this woman to sort out her life.
    Both of you should work on yourselves as individuals- to be stronger, better people alone and start developing some morals and habits you can be proud to pass onto your daughter. She needs to be the focus in this, the relationship you want with the mother should not be centre stage.

    I hope you can both make some good choices going forward, and give your daughter the life she deserves

    • Wait, wat?

      It's not his daughter, it's the husband's daughter. Unless I read these wrong:
      "They've separated multiple times and share a daughter together."
      "Her daughter loves me but looked at me as the neighbor because of the reasons. "

    • Show All
    • I'm just so hurt by everything and the thought of moving on sucks. Like thinking of her sleeping with someone kills me. How do I get over it and those thoughts out of my head?

    • Stop talking to her, literally start moving on with your life and start shaping it into one of a decent person. You did a shit thing, and now she is keeping on you on a string for cable. Have some self respect, and start behaving like a person who deserves love and maybe it will come to you

Most Helpful Guy

  • If it were me, I'd get everything of yours out of there just in case she decides to cut things off and keep your stuff. Give her the space she requests.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • You're filth.

    Give her space and end it.

  • Get your stuff and never look back. It's over

  • just leave it there.

    • she needs to see where her heads at. at the moment she just needs a breather to let the waters settle a lot more, for her its still fresh got to let the wounds heal.

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