How Do You Deal With A Break Up? Good Ways To Channel Negative Emotions?

We had been together for a little over a year and had lived together in an apartment for just over a year. He lied to me throughout the entire relationship and I just came to that realization a day after we broke up. He would lie about the smallest things like cigarettes. He would look me in the eyes and lie to my face. He cheated on me with a 16 year old girl. He's 22 years old, mind you. I found out because I read a secret letter he wrote to her. It looked like a love letter to me but he said otherwise. He refused to let me read it so I knew something was up because if you're just friends, then there damn well shouldn't be anything to hide. When I asked him if he held hands with this girl, he lied to my face. I asked him multiple times that night and each time, he said he never did anything with her. Eventually, I told him I read the letter. Then he told the truth.
After that happened, I met this guy at the park while walking my dog. I was really excited because I have social anxiety and I talked to him without being super awkward. I told my boyfriend (now ex) hoping he'd be happy for me and proud of my progress. But nope. He was really mad and jealous. What I never understood was he could go hold hands with a girl and look at the stars but I couldn't have a guy friend or add an guy friend from a few years ago on Facebook. Why? Because I had a huge crush on him a few years ago. I decided our relationship was more important than working on my social anxiety so I stopped talking to people and kept to myself. As time went on, he just kept lying and anytime I'd call him out (especially at the end of our relationship and after it ended), he would turn it around on me and try to call me out.
He also abused my dog frequently, picking her up and throwing her to the ground and subduing her quite aggressively. Also, giving her really hard spankings. I just felt so trapped. I didn't have a job or anywhere to go so I was stuck there with him, terrified to tell anyone what was going on because I never knew what he would do to my dog or I. He also said this a lot: "I'll do whatever I have to do to survive. Whatever it takes, I'll do it. I look out for myself first." Whenever he hurt me, he
Whenever he hurt me, he never apologized. All he ever said was that he felt really bad. He never said "I'm sorry".
After we broke up, he said he expected to still see my dog because he thinks we have equal ownership in it as he helped look after it for the year we lived together. But I had the dog since it was a puppy and I got it long before I met him. We did not get it together. Yet he still thinks he should get to see it. I refused and still refuse to let him near my dog ever again.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sound like a nasty break up. I'm sure your trying to peice together life as it meant to be and hate the stress and heartbreake it came with. Typically though recovery starts with positive surroundings and better way of thinking. Next is keeping yourself busy and letting the past go. It might take awhile or you'll find yourself dwelling in it. But if you touch a hot stove and burn your hand do you want to do again. Or will you have enough and let things cool over. Finally, take a break from the dating and social media scene. By now you might be thinking it's worth a try but have done some of these but what I ( you) need is something that help right then and there. The solution is it can't. It's hard. It's like erasing your memory in 2 days time. I dont think that's how it works. But by all means give it time.

  • I focus on all that was bad


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