Should I keep trying or move on before he ends the relationship?

Bf&i have a great, loving relationship w/amazing comm skills. have so many future plans&have told e/o that this is our 1st relationship where we see a future.
in Sept I had a miscarriage which left me feeling depressed. He was extremely supportive until my shutting down took a toll on our relationship. We still have more good days than bad days but on Sunday, despite having a week straight of great days w/no fights&a ton of love between us, a fight blew up out of proportion which lead to us breaking up. I was staying at his place so we had no choice but to still sleep beside e/o while being broken up. I cried all night&threw up 3 times. He was emotionless (said he was heartbroken but felt numb) when I asked if he still loved me romantically he said he didn't know. next morn I woke up to him sobbing bc he said he saw me sleeping&all he wanted to do was cuddle me. He called into work that day. I drank too much to numb the feeling but it only made me worse which lead me to throwing up again&falling asleep. I woke up that night to him sitting at my feet saying he wants to try again&that he does in fact love me romantically but that this is the last try. He said if we can't make it work this time, there's no point. He also said we're still "together" but he doesn't want to see me in person until I sort my life out from the wreckage I've cause from my depression (school, finding a new job&an apartment) I've been staying at my parents' since then&we Skype every night but barely text during the day&our texts are bland. He won't say "I love you" first anymore&tn after he said goodnight I texted back "goodnight, I love u (don't say it back)"after 20 mins he asked why not&i said "I know u don't really&I don't want u to say it just bc I say it first" he ignored that&changed the sub. Should I wait it out&keep working on a relationship I KNOW can be amazing, or should I take these subtle hints&take this distance&time apart to move on before breaking it off?
After about a week apart, he came over last night and stayed the night. We talked about everything and discussed how we should go about handling certain situations. We are on great terms now and are both 100% dedicated to making it work by being patient and handling situations better


Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, I agree with this guy... you need to work on yourself. Ok, I get that the miscarriage was hard on you, but you're not a child. You're 32 and you should be old enough to take a bloody nose without having your life fall apart. I mean, over drinking, depression, needing to find a new job, living with your parents? If you aren't going to do it at 32, at what point did you intend on actually start acting like an adult?

    You absolutely cannot have a successful relationship with another person if you can't get a grip on yourself. I think that this guy really cares a lot about you, but I understand where he's coming from. I know that I have a lot going on in my life (work, kids, etc.) and no matter how much I cared about you, I don't think I'd be able to fit someone like you in without interfering with my other obligations.

    • I'm actually 22, I changed my age on here in case anyone I knew in real life saw some stories that sounded familiar lol

    • And the reason the miscarriage hit me so hard was bc I've already been told at 18 that it would be extremely hard for me to have kids and this was confirmation. Also bc i was having horrible pains during the entire pregnancy causing me to throw up numerous times a day, I could barely walk or eat, this kept me from doing my every day life which lead to a depression. I was also trying to terminate the pregnancy bc I knew from the beginning something was wrong. Doctors and hospitals never took me seriously and it took 10 weeks before I miscarriages and was in labour for 16 hours in excruciating pain while at the hospital because they still kept me waiting so I passed it on my own (the size of a tennis ball) while waiting 8 hours for a schedule D&C

Most Helpful Girl

  • He said he wants you. But you do need to make the effort

    • I'm trying. But it's hard when he says he loves me but it doesn't feel like it. He was once super affectionate and now I feel like it's a hassle to get it out of him

    • It's going to be hard hun. at least he's saying it. And depression makes us paranoid

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's time to take a break. One or both of you can't handle the situation emotionally.

    After a week or two apart, you can talk soberly and honestly. But don't even try to do that now, you will just have another blow-up.


What Girls Said 1

  • you sound like you need some counseling..


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