My husband's ex wrote this to him, does it mean she is still in love with him? Or What?

"I know that I barely know you and I have a lot of growing to do. I know that we're better off not being together, that we found comfort in each others wounds, and will probably always approach things 180° from one another. But, even with knowing so little, I loved you so much I lost touch with myself.. a pattern I've grown all too familiar with. Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for bringing me into reality, however harsh that transition seemed to affect me. Committment is simply a slippery slope for me... And secrecy triggers all the worst parts of my psyche. The more things changed the more there was no more going back to being open, not when you could close all the doors on our world so readily. I'm not sure why I ever thought I would be granted access with the same mishapen keys.. and doorknobs made of dreams. Even with foregiveness there was still my heart being balanced carelessly on your everything. Trust that requires reassurance is simply distrust by a better name. But I could never blame you, because it was always what you didn't say that had me questioning things. Of course, all I wanted was what I couldnt have... to give love the darkest parts of your soul... And maybe heal the pain you burried too deep to show me. I'm so sorry for asking that of you just because transparency is not a choice for me, sharing any part of yourself should always be voluntary. I wonder how you are.. every day... I would love to see you but I don't really believe that you want to see me. I don't even trust my heart around you yet and it is much stronger than I will ever admit so instead I will just leave you with this.. I promise to send you love from afar always, now and forever, every day. I hope you can feel it, and that it gives you some comfort, courage, and inner freedom, you truly deserve it."


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  • Sounds to me like they had a tough break up, that she is letting him know that it wasn't all his fault and that she appreciates that he was part of her life and she learned from it. She says two key things at the end "afar" and "freedom". This is not an "i still love you" letter, it's an "im letting go of the past" letter and she wants him to be free as well.

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What Girls Said 5

  • At first it seems like she was happy they were not together and she was happy and set free. Then she starts saying she can't blame him for everything that happen in the relationship. So she takes the blame and knows she try to make him happy but she couldn't for some reason. As I kept reading she seems that she still haves feelings for him but knows deep down inside it won't work. So she haves to love him from a far. This is a really deep letter. :-\

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  • Yeah I'd say she still has feelings. Sounds like she didn't get the closure she needed and is still seeking closure on some level. She sounds like she's hoping for a reunion. Does she know he's married now?

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  • Yes, of course, it does! That's why I said that being 'In love' is a bad idea. Loving a person. Yes. But being in love, and you're on the hormones instead of using reason as to WHY you love or loved that person. This is why you don't have any contact with your ex's. I don't know why you husband allowed this to go on. But you need to secure your place as his wife and tell him to cut ties with her if he hasn't. It sounds heartfelt and all that, but he needs to just straight up tell her that he cannot speak with her anymore and that he is married.

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  • Yes she is still in love with him but I think this was for some sort of closure for herself.

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  • Tell her to stay in her fucking lane.

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