How do I break up with this vulnerable guy nicely?

We have been seeing each other for about 2 months and I have realized we are not meant to be but I am his first at the age of 34 and I think he has fallen for me. I am somewhat more experienced in the ways of love and am trying to be sensible and not string him along unnecessarily. I do care a lot about him but I have realized he isn't for me. Has anybody had any good experiences of breaking up or is it always absolutely horrible? He also has health issues that he has only shared with me. I don't want to be horrible to him but also can't be with him because I feel sorry for him. Any advice would be appreciated

Updates:
Thanks for your replies, he actually made it very easy for me as upset as he was, and hopefully we will keep in touch as friends.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He needs experience and breaking up is an experience. Its not fair to you or him to drag it on. Just let him know he's not your cup of tea and be nice about it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • The most messed up and coldest way you can break up with a person is to just do it, and not give a logical reason as to why. If he is good to you, then just "we are not meant to be" won't cut it. When you break up with him, do it in PERSON because that shows a sign of respect, tel him calmly, and tell him EVERYTHING he did "wrong" with you. Don't try to be friends with him. If you REALLY care for him, just tell him the mistakes he made with you, and help him correct those mistakes to go and get the women. Say the mistakes calmly, but firmly and logically so he will have an understanding that even though you are breaking up, you do want him to find someone and be happy. Most of the time women don't do these things because they care too much about themselfs and the othen men they have eyes for and more atrracted to... So give him that respect.

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    • He honestly didn't make any mistakes, he is an all round good guy, it is just that we have nothing in common, don't like doing the same things so I don't think we are a good match as girlfriend boyfriend. Thanks for your advice but sometimes it is just 'we are not meant to be'

  • Just do it tactfully...such as you guys go to the mall and you point out a random hunk and turn to your boyfriend and say "I'd rather be doing him."

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  • Be a total bitch to him make him dump you, he becomes the victum, glad to be rid of a pshycho like you, etc...

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  • Can I ask why you broke up with him...The real reason...Did you lose attraction towards him? Just curious.

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    • A difficult question to answer but I'll do my best... He didn't have any interests to speak of, or hobbies just tending to watch tv in his spare time, Whereas I always have at least one project on the go. Therefore he didn't seem to have a lot to talk about. Also I like an intelligent discussion every now and then and he didn't seem to have any opinions on anything, or if he did he kept them to himself. I didn't see a lot of passion there but maybe it needs someone else to bring it out of him.

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think there's a nice way to tell someone you are done with them. I think that keeping it short and to the point would be best. Like ripping a band-aid off. I know that you are sympathetic to his pain, which tells me you aren't a bad guy, no matter how it feels. You just can't help not wanting him anymore.

    Good luck.

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  • Do the fading away technique.Lessen the times you see him until the time when you barely see each other. Then when he is used to it, breaking up would not be as difficult. He would be able to easily move on by that time because he got used to not seeing you around as often. Then be honest, tell him that you don't think it is working out between the two of you.

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    • I really would like it over and done with. As I say I don't want to string him along. Thanks for your answer anyway

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