Girlfriend doesn't want a relationship?

So I've been chasing this girl for a year. I met her with my friends and I thought she was a cool person. After 2 months I asked her out on Valentine's Day and she rejected me. Then 3 months later she came to me. We dated, it was both our first relationship. We were happy for about a month and a half and then we suddenly broke up.

Everyone was confused and so was I. So after a week of sulking, I went to my friends place to calm myself. She was there, I didn't stay for even 30 minutes. I was filled with emotion and confusion that I thought I had gotten over days ago. So I drove back to my place and stayed there for a couple hours. I went back because I wanted comfort from my fiends. One of my friends talked to me outside. She said I should clear things up with her. I talked to her that night to get some closure and see what lies in our future.

She told me I didn't do anything wrong. She said she is just not ready for a relationship. She said she is more independent than me and doesn't like to talk about her problems. She just doesn't see anything with us in the future. She said we can try to be friends since we are in the same friend group but I'm afraid it'll make me uncomfortable and want her again. I told her we could try.

I was heartbroken that night but I didn't know it. I thought everything was going to be okay but truth is I still think this is going to be hard to get over. All this work and effort for some girl who isn't ready.

I don't know if she'll change her mind. I'm not expecting it. But this girl meant a lot to me. She meant a lot to me for a long time. I just don't know what to do now. I don't want to start over and spend another year chasing a girl. I don't want to chase this girl if she is not ready. Please give me some help.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Basically, your attached to someone who is not. The more you push the more the pull. You can either do two things. Support them and be there for them. Let them know that you are a great friend. Or leave them alone. She was honest with you be honest with her.


What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, you are making everything too significant with this experience and with this girl. You need to realize that she was only your first and that is why you are having a harder time dealing with. Not everyone marries their first girlfriend. Dating and meeting girls doesn't have to be as hard as you are making it out to be. You are full of self doubt right now thinking you'll never meet anyone else and it will be too hard. This is not true. Not every girl needs a year of chasing. That is retarded. You are making things out to be more difficult than they need to be. She isn't the last woman on Earth. Remember, there are TONS of girls out there! It can be as easy as seeing a girl, you smile, she smiles, you say hi, she says hi and you start talking and a week later you are dating. Yes, this can and does happen, ALL THE TIME!!! You just need to be more confident and stop sulking. It is also ok to be single for a while too, please don't be one those pussies that just has to have a girlfriend or they will implode of they don't.

  • There is no help.