Why is my ex ignoring me? And how can I get him back?

My ex and I were together for 2/3 years. Mid summer he started a new job, his priorities changed and we started arguing quite regularly. Were both quite stubborn so our arguments were often quite long and painful. He tried to break up with me but I convinced him to give me a chance to change. It was going well, no arguing no tension. Then out of the blue two weeks later I catch him messaging someone else and rather explain himself he broke up with me saying "we can't make eachother happy any more". This was 10 weeks ago. I know now I should have been more supportive and appreciate him more. I just want a proper chance to make it up to him.

During the breakup I cried, begged and broke down. Then after the first day I completely cut off all contact for a month. But I don't think it had much impact given he didn't try to reach out to me at all either. After that, we have spoken a little here and there, have seen eachother a couple of times to give back eachother's things, but he's been really hot and cold with me. When we see eachother we're there's chemistry, and sometimes he'll start a conversation with me; but then he'll start being short, sometimes taking days to reply, or wanting to close down conversations ASAP.

3 nights ago we eventually met for a drink, we had a long chat and caught up without mentioning the relationship at all. I thought it went well. He had positive body language towards me, when we hugged goodbye he Held on a little longer, and at the end I really thought he might kiss me. But I just wanted to keep things friendly so I walked away.

I messaged him after saying how nice it had been, but he still hasn't said anything back. I also then casually messaged him yesterday about an article I had seen about something we both liked, and he has ignored that too. I dont understand why he would want to meet up with me but after it goes well would not want to talk to me. What do I need to do now? I don't want to miss my chance to get him back


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What Guys Said 2

  • What you need to do is move on. He is done with you end of story.
    Take a glass and drop it on the floor, breaking it... now say "sorry"... did the glass magically repair itself? No ;) it will remain broken
    Move on

    • Then why did he meet up with me and give me such positive signals.. and why is he sometimes starting conversations with me over text?

    • Because he likes you as a friend, you didn't have a BAD break up so he still likes talking to you... you are over analyzing this... it's over and you won't get him back

  • Ignore him..

    • Why - what do you think ignoring him will do?

    • He has relied on your attention.. You should focus on yourself. Change your attitude to when he comes back..

What Girls Said 1

  • Despite the entire relationship... Look at the main fact. He changed his priorities. You two started fighting. You offered to change and asked for a chance. He AGREED to that.. And within a short amount of time which isn't long enough for you to have reasonable made a huge difference, he's already messaging another girl and breaks up with you... He was obviously looking for someone else and the moment you caught him, he just dumps you, and again you feel like it's your fault.

    I don't know why you're chasing someone who didn't prioritise you and then decided to go looking for another girl while with you... And he honestly doesn't seem like he wants you back now.

    You should block him out and just move on.

    • Thank you for your response itnis refreshing to hear an honest opinion. The problem is I do feel like I could have been a much better girlfriend too, neither of us were perfect. But I know how good we could be and I want a chance at that... what if regardless of everything I was a chance to work through things?

    • Show All
    • Thanks - maybe it's finally getting through. I know he's been a major ars****e to me and I deserve better. The difficult thing is that he's such a nice guy, a family man, who would always go out of his way to help people.. so I just cannot reconcile his actions with that... this makes me feel like maybe there's something more going on, maybe he doesn't know how to deal with some issues he is having, or he's going through some phase... but I am so confused

    • I don't think that is the problem. BUT, even if that is true, can you really trust someone in your life who when he can't deal with stress, starts treating you badly and looks for other girls or dumps you etc?

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