Why can't I get over my ex?

Well, here's the story:

It was a long distance relationship, I was supposed to fly out to see him in a few months, but I really messed things up, I didn't cheat, I didn't do anything extremely horrible to him, I just lied to him about my age.. But, he broke up with me, and we talked on and off, and he said my next birthday he wanted to get back together which now, its next month but anyways, all that changed to him, it went from lets get back together to, lets be friends, to I still love you, to I still care about you, to I hate you. he never actually said I hate you but I could tell, I knew him too well.

he just turned into a completely different person towards me,

he would tell me other girls were hot, that he would so 'do' them.

and just really mean things, even after I told him I still loved him with everything I had. one day, my internet went out and I texted him and he never texted back, so when I got online a few days later he wouldn't talk to me. that was about 2 months ago. ever since, I've been obsessed with him, constantly crying, and I'm a singer so writing songs about him to let my emotions out. and he raps, and I'm constantly checking up on him like some weird ex. but I'm really not, I just love him and its the only way I can kind of be close to him. but he made a song and said a line in it that I think he meant to me, it said: "ill never walk away from another being whos part of my life" but maybe that's my crazy ex stage kicking in. he told me one time, that he was being mean to me to make me see that I was too good for him or to help me move on, I just wonder if he still loves me.. he told me when he was with me it was the happiest he's ever been but he just thought of me as a friend now. I wonder if he thinks about me, still loves me, checks up on me or lied that he thought of me as just a friend, how can you go from so in love, gonna meet each other, gonna do so much together, to I don't wanna talk to you, and I think of you as just a friend in a matter of days? and also, I told him it was to hard to talk to him and we stopped talking for a day and then texted me and told me it was to hard.. and told me I was selfish every time I said lets stop talking, yet look what he's done to me.. I know he probably had the right too but I just don't understand. I don't know, this is kind of scattered. But I just don't understand.. how can he let go of everything we had just like that? and move on to another girl. I don't understand and I can't move on, trust me I've tried. I compare every guy to him.. I still love him. and I guess he thinks ill move on or have.. but I can't and probably wont. I think he ended up hurting me worse. just please give me some advice.. :/

sorry this is so long, but please help..
Why can't I get over my ex?
Add Opinion