My ex broke up with me because he loved me???

So the other week, after being broken up for 2 months, my ex boyfriend messaged me and started talking to me. He was like, how's soccer, and I was like good, then he started talking about his prom. He lives in a different state than me, but both states are right next to each other and so it's not like we are too far away. Anyways, I was like cool, and he was like yeah, and I had to go so I said goodnight and said bye. well just 3 days ago he started messaging me again, I really didn't want to talk, because I still love him, well I decided to be polite and ask him how his prom went. He said OK, so I said okay, and then he said, Kelsey, I'm sorry. So, being confused, I was like for what? he said, for everything that I did to you, I didn't want to hurt you like that. Me: its okay, you did what you thought was best, and it just bugs me why you never gave me a clear reason for breaking up. HIM: Have you ever loved something so much, that you didn't want to stand in the way of it doing something great? I replied with yes, which he replied with: "I love you more than anything in the world, and I was afraid of you choosing me over doing something great with your life."

My question is, does this seem like he was sincere with that answer, or would the first reason, which had something to do with alcohol, seem more believable. I love him so much, but I do not want to get hurt again...</3


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So, this is what MY thoughts are on this whole thing.. You are still young! You will not really know what love is until you have experienced more in life.. or reword.. You may know what love is and love someone, but you are so young, you will most likely love a few more times in life.. I know you may care about this guy, but sounds fishy.. Honestly he sounds like he may be into drugs.. People that are moody like that, it can be an indication of taking something of that sort, or possibly even the alcohol you had mentioned. Have a lot of experience with addicts the last 5 years, my child's father is an addict. If this is what he is doing then, stay away from him! Don't get mixed up in it all again, you will get hurt! Trying to help him will not help so much.. Addicts will only seek help when they have finally admitted they have a problem and decide that they themselves alone want to quit!

    So now, saying maybe he may not, let's give him the benefit of the doubt.. Say he really is just emotionally back and forth with you.. Still, I'd be careful.. If he's not spoke to you in 2 months and suddenly is trying to reconnect.. sounds like he may have been playing the field a little and realized he prefers you.. or if you are having sex.. maybe he is just wanting a booty call.. So many possibilities.. Either way, why don't you give it some more time solo.. and see how he acts.. If he is saying he loves you and all and he truly does, he will wait around for you for when you are ready. Hope you get it all sorted out.. But, don't stress, you have a lot of time left in life, and honestly you will change so much the next 10 or so years, you may not even like this guy in a few years, so take care of yourself first.. accomplish what you want in life before you go off with this guy and marry him and regret not giving life a shot first. There is always time for love later. Or at least on a more serious level.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, he definitely seems fishy. Why would you "choosing him" prevent you from doing something great with your life? Why couldn't you do both? And then, if he really felt that way, why is he telling you this now? Have you now done something 'great' with your life in the past 2 months? It'd be one thing if it was 2 years later or something, after maybe you were in college for a bit and had some time establish yourself as a person more. But, 2 months? He could have just as well told you this reason the moment you broke up if he only waited 2 months to tell you now. To me, that sounds like seller regret, which would make this "reason" he gave you disingenous.

    I like advicegirl2010's suggestion: give this thing some more solo time. If he really is genuine about how he feels about you, he'll wait for you and not forget about you in a couple months after you ignore him or reject him. He has to earn your trust back... and that will take a long time to do... much much more than 2 months... and while you are single, there's a good chance you'll find someone better anyway.

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  • i hate to say this but he is certainly not normal... mayb its tht you live so far

    can you help me with mine?

    link

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  • My girlfriend I broke up, although I still love her, we just couldn't be able to stay together with what we both wanted to do with our lives. We are both going to grad school, but what she wants to do with her life will make her travel around the world a lot, and what I want to do will not allow me to travel with her., we still manage to talk to each other once or twice a week. I still love her and she loves me, but we realize right now we can't be together. I don't know if this helps you are not, but I wanted to let you know that there are cases, where couples break up even though they still love each other

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like he possibly ditched you for something else, that didn't work out, and now he's trying to get back on your good side for his benefit.

    But then again, alcohol does open up the floodgates, emotionally.

    Regardless, that's one really stupid reason to give for breaking up for someone. He sounds insecure.

    As mentioned below, you're still young. Don't dwell too much on this one guy. It's hard to do because you're so emotionally involved, but keep it in mind.

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  • Have you ever thought about this: Have you put all of your feelings in check? If you are comfortable with the fact that you are not with him, maybe you should call him back. But, if you are still on the fence about your feelings for him and about how you feel about yourself being without him, I wouldn't because at that point you may feel a little pressured into getting back together with him. If you feel that you want to get back with him, call him. If you feel that you are going to get emotional on him...honestly...it is what it is. I feel that sometimes you need to get emotional on someone for you to get your point across and let them feel the way you have been feeling when you and him broke up. Don't be afraid to say what needs to be said. If he hurt you, tell him he hurt you. And if he says that he loves you, don't automatically say it back unless you REALLY mean it and if you are REALLY ready for it. Protect your heart!

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  • He may be sincere but what if you guys get back together, who is to say that he won't do this again. Let him grow up some more and if he is really sincere, he will show you instead of texting.

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