How can a self-centered guy get back with a girl he has hurt enough?

After being a crazy ass Casanova for years, I never knew how I would take it if a girl comes up suddenly and says those three words which I so casually used around, that's exactly what happened - last 7 weeks have been the most beautiful of my life, when she just came into my life, didn't ask for too much just three things - not to lie, anonymity in the relationship till she was ready and not to hurt her; and I took the whole thing just bout too casually...we had plenty of fights over the weeks, almost loosing her every time but then using what I do best as a Casanova to get her back. She did get close me, opened up all her inner fears, even moved to being my girl friend...and just a day after she popped the most important question of her life...i screwed up everything; blowing apart the most sacred thing in the relationship...trust. And while she was trying to make me understand what I had done, I was sadistically hurting her more by speaking of not what I had done but asking for forgiveness...as if not 'listening' at all to the truth that I had not broken one but all three of the only things she had asked from me at the start of the relationship.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Casanova,

    judging from what you've written here you're way too self-centered. It sounds like you actually enjoy the drama and the heart-break, because it makes you feel powerful, capable of evoking such agony in another human being. If I were you I would first look inside your heart and ask why do you want to get back with this girl? Because it doesn't sound like you've changed after you lost her, that you've realized you truly love her. If you did, you wouldn't describe you break-up with her in such poetic details and boast your Casanova competence. The right thing to do would be to leave her alone and look inside yourself. You need to deserve someone so good first, before trying to get back with them.

    S

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    • Overs years I was considering myself the best there might be in this business of understanding women, understanding relationships...and then out comes this girl out of no where, who just about did everything that earlier for me was something I would plan long and hard for. As if she had always been there looking at me from some where and finally thought she had seen enough and it was time for me to change. For a stranger to understand me so soon and still stay with me...it was confusing.

  • Casanova,

    First you should ask why you want the relationship back? Is it because of something you can't have? Sit down and think about this person from what you know. How can I be happy with this person in the future just think about her CORE self. Do you really think you can deal with her CORE self? If you can then, ask for little dates here and there. Dates like going for coffee or a walk maybe start once or twice a week. Then see if she will go for a more official date like dinner and let her know that you understand how you made her feel. Then after a few more dates ask if she would consider being your girlfriend again. Before you do this though think is is really what you want or just what you can't have. Hope all goes well.

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    • If it had always been one sided love I wouldn't have cared too much. But when I told her those three words I wasn't even sure where it was going. It was only after those constant breaking up and patching did I started realizing what was actually happening to me. For a self centered Casanova like me, getting her back in my life is not the problem; I would perhaps hate myself too for doing that.What scares me is the truth - If I can't keep her happy now, would I be able to do that over a lifetime

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