I wanna know if I still have a chance with my now ex?

if I still have a chance with my now ex? we dated four years and had a good time. Yet we only been in like 1 or 2 serious relationships ever and she told me she loves me and all and that we could still get back together possibly but for now she wants to be "free". she has been committed to school and sports and me and I think she just wants a break from it all. I recently started bring up possibly moving in together and she kinda freaked out about it and didn't like the idea too much. she said she just wants to have fun and date (not have a relationship w anyone) other people to kinda test the waters and I think possibly to see if I am the right one for her. I really love this girl and all and the other day she told me we couldn't talk as often as we did because she will feel like she is still w me and all. that hurt when she said that but she didn't mean it in a bad way as she explained later she meant that its just she could spend all her time w me and not have a problem but she really doesn't want any commitment. she said also she still wants to hang out from time to time and have fun with me just not all the time like we did when we were together she also said she knows its gonna be really hard to try to not see me all the time but she still wants me in her life for sure...i don't know she just seems confused about me but I know she is sure she wants to be "free" this summer before she starts her job this fall...so here is the bottom line do I still have a shot with her after I let her go or do you all think its over over?

i know she stares at my Facebook a lot through out the day and she recently deactivated it because this way it would stop her from looking so much. I just feel she feels she needs to see other people so she can just be sure about things with me. she said she doesn't want to hurt me at all but I'm freaking out haha I really want this girl back in my life even if she did things with another guy because I know now I'm free also and I may do things with another girl but I know my heart could always be hers its just a matter of if she wants it or not...thanks for the help if you give any advice


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What Girls Said 1

  • so.. this is what I think.. I think she is most likely still young and wanting to see what's out there in life.. She probably still cares about you a great deal, but maybe she saw some guy and thought he was cute and maybe someone complimented her and another guy asked her out.. and then she got to thinking.. I've been with... so long and I'm not sure I want to settle down with him, I like the attention I'm getting.. it happens to girls often when we are younger.. when I was in a 2 year relationship, I loved the guy, but there were times when I thought about what it might be like to be single, or to date this guy or another guy I had a class with, etc. that I didn't care about my boyfriend or love him, I was just still so young with so many options in front of me in relationships, career, and any other life option out there.. What I will say is this.. I know you don't want to lose her, but I think you will only push her more away if you respect her decision to take this break. AS far as if you will get back together, there is always that chance. If she loved you once, you could love you again.. I will give you 2 success stories.. my dad and his now wife.. they took a year break.. my dad wanted to see what else was out there in life.. he dated a ton for a few months. then realized how much he missed his ex and that none of those other girls had half of what she had. and he mopped for months.. one day try to just carry on with life.. One day she called him, about a year later and they decided to go out one night.. they ended up getting back together and have been for over 10 years now..

    Another story, Another boyfriend I had.. we dated a year and I loved him, but I decided I wasn't sure what I wanted in life.. I knew I loved him, but was unsure I wanted him for the rest of my life.. we took a break.. went on with life.. I had a kid from another guy I dated, and then years later he found me and we started talking.. he knew about all my mistakes and I his.. we didn't care, we still cared about each other.. now we are back together.. maybe not exactly how we imagined it would always be, but I'm still happy we are back together..

    Point of it all, If you love something or someone let it go.. If it's meant to be love will find it's way back and it will be stronger than ever since you both would of had a lot of time and space to see how you felt and realize how important you are to each other.. And if not.. it's ok, just because maybe you are not right for each other doesn't mean you won't find the right person.. and I'm sure it will be hard since you care greatly for her and have many years of history.. I know it was not easy on me.. I regretted ever letting my boyfriend go, but I am also happy I did, it made me and our relationship much stronger than it would of been without or time apart. I hope it all works out.. Mean while try to find a hobby to clear your mind some.. And hang out with friends.. don't stay home sad all day, will never make things better

    • Thanks...your saying there is hope but go out and enjoy things in the meantime and I might find something better or realize she is the one. To give an update I talked to her last night she said there is no other guy and they are all just friends and that she felt she missed hanging out with friends the last 4 years and she wants to do that now. I can see her point and I will let her go I have a lot going on this summer and ill see how she feels after summer and possibly try to get back with her!!!

    • I think that would be a great idea.. Will allow you to focus on what you have going on and life and then when that passes, maybe you too can pick it all back up, learn from the experience and be very happy together.. Just remember, if you do give it another shot, make sure you allow that time for you and her to have your own time away from each other or away with friends.. it's important to keep some of your current life style still going.. stay positive

    • Yea she was/is a very focused girl, I told her multiple times for her to go out with her friends instead of me. Some time apart will be good and I feel like she wants me but she wants this freedom more right now. Thanks for your answer you have actually given me hope in my situation and things already look brighter for me. Haha I guess its time to go get crazy for awhile

What Guys Said 1

  • My ex girlfriend dropped that bomb on me last summer. I was her first and only boyfriend ever and she wanted to test the waters. We tried the whole being friends thing, but I was way too hurt. I never got any closure and eventually my love turned to resentment and hate. I drank my pain away and always would try and get in touch with her, just to be ignored. This just added fuel to my slowly burning fire. I would remove yourself from the situation totally. Give her some time to think. She will miss you, I was told my ex did. I know she doesn't wish me badly, but I wish she handled things differently. I wanted to marry this girl, she was the love of my life. Now I kinda want her to get hit by a bus in a crosswalk. But best of luck to you.

    • I understand you feelings and all....i have been ignoring her and it drives her crazy...i know this girl probably better than I know myself and that's the honest truth. I don't think I could ever hate this girl or ever not love this girl...i just think I have to give some space and let her heart burn for me a bit and let it build ya know for awhile and then pop back in just to let her know from time to time she is still on my mind and heart...im hoping this will make her want me back by the end of

    • It's been 9 months since she left... each and every day is still an emotional struggle without her. She's off partying and enjoying herself, and I'm on medication. If you knew some of the nasty things she said to me- you'd hate her too.

    • Yea I knew about 6 months ago I was starting to lose her and there was nothing I can do...yea some of the sh*t people can say when they break up is ridiculous but I mean me and her chose not to do that really. I talked to her today a bit and she said she just doesn't want to talk or have to think about me because it stresses her out right now...so I know its still to soon so I have to give her some more time and space....man I hate this sh*t soo much

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