What does he mean? Should I take it at face value?

Many year relationship, I betrayed him. After 2 months no contact, slowly started speaking on and off.

He was very VERY verbally mean to me over the years and immature hence he understands in a way I guess why I did what I did. He apologized.

He called me drunk one weekend and I was asleep, text me drunk apologizing the next weekend, tells me he still cares but he can't trust me. I asked if I can earn back his trust and his love he said I can, but he still needs time for himself to decide if he even wants to talk like we used to or potentially date like we used to.

face value? Take him at his word that he needs to think? Didn't hear from him on any drunk notes this weekend so worried he met someone while I'm sitting here waiting like a puppy dog


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, you're definitely still on his mind. There's always a shot at redemption, so you wouldn't be in the wrong to take him at face value and wait for him to get over his bad self.

    By your own admission, you betrayed him, so it should be him offering forgiveness. That forgiveness really shouldn't have any hooks attached. For example, "I forgive you, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you like I used to." That's a terrible conditional forgiveness, and it means he's not genuinely forgiving you. He will hold your transgression over your head if that's as deep as his forgiveness goes.

    My advice would be for the both of you to move on. Investing many years into a relationship is a very large thing, but now it's broken and a shadow of its former glory. It'd be healthier for both of you to start over new and fresh with someone else. That, or if the two of you can find away to move past your entire past (good and bad) and truly start over fresh together. Just mind the hooks.

  • I would imagine that he is battling between missing you and being angry with you. Alcohol often brings out the emotional side of us and bypasses the common sense side. That's why drunk calls to exes are a terrible idea. When he called you drunk he was more vulnerable. Now that he's sober again he may be back to feeling hurt and angry, and maybe even more angry at himself that he let his defences down on the phone to you.

    Give him time and space, there are no guarantees right now. It could go either way.


What Girls Said 1

  • sheesh... what happened? Sounds like you need to move on. honestly


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